The Maxima Affair
by Knight of Black and Gold
Summary: A new Robin heads to Metropolis for the first time. A trip which results in the headline: "ROBIN AND LEX LUTHOR SAVIORS OF OUR CITY" by Lois Lane and him witnessing the insecurities of dating when one has a secret identity.
1. A Short Trip

**Hi I haven't made a story in a while, but I** **actually have stuff that I'm editing** **. This was supposed to be in my Superhero Conspiracy Story as background, but I decided to make it separate. Please enjoy!**

 **Context wise Team Year: One means the year that starts at the end of season one. Season one takes place during Year Zero.**

* * *

Team Year: One

 **CLARK KENT'S APARTMENT, METROPOLIS**

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan POV)

"You owe me a beer!" I declare grumbling as we descend on Clark's apartment.

"That seems awfully petty Hal," he responds.

"I literally took a asteroid for you!" I remind him. "After flying you across the galaxy on a quest to find a Kryptonian database." Clark looks down as he remembers that the database was a fake and the trip was for nothing.

"[SIGH] I guess 1 beer is a fair price."

"It's a start."

"Don't get greedy, but look in the fridge."

"You're going to have me get it myself. Alfred would never-"

"I'm letting you pick from what I have in the fridge," Clark says as he walks past the kitchen.

"Are you going to bed?" It was a two day trip back, and a 30 hour Oan interrogation while flying didn't make it shorter. We were gone half way across the galaxy for a week, but besides a Lex Corp building that suffered some unfortunate accident (the horror), Metropolis seems fine.

"I'm getting the newspaper."

"Worried Luthor's accident got him unnecessary sympathy." He seemed to not want to respond.

I open the fridge and pull out two beers at random, feeling adventurous after a week long adventure.

"Kent you want some?" I offer him. There is an odd lack of response for someone with super-hearing. "Kent." I wait for him to respond again. No answer.

I walk over to him and saw him at the door staring intensely at the front page of the newspaper. I use my ring to make a hand. "[SNAP] [SANP] Hey man I'm ty- [PEWWW]" my construct breaks! I look at the newspaper he is holding and smoke is coming out of the center of the paper. "Dude, are you using heat vision!" I look over and see that headline that has gotten him so angry.

 **"ROBIN AND LEX LUTHOR, SAVIORS OF OUR CITY"**

Who would write this headline-

by Lois Lane

"[SHHHHHHHHHEW]" The whole paper is engulfed in flames.

Ohhh... That's awkward.

* * *

16 Hours Earlier

 **WAYNE MANOR, GOTHAM CITY**

 _Jason Todd POV_

"Alfred!" I call as I get home. "The police are here!" The old man has heard that probably half a dozen times in the five months I've lived here, and has developed a routine.

"Coming," he says, probably grabbing the checkbook if he didn't already have it in his hand. Once he comes down the central stairs he stares at the police. "Whatever Master Jason damaged I assure you that the Wayne Foundation will write a check for the poli-"

"It's because of something that happened at school." Unlike the other six (or eight depending on what you count) times, this time the police brought me straight home, rather than to jail.

"-for the bright students at Gotham Prep."

"Well, I don't know how many times you have had to give that speech," officer Bullock says. "But the kids not in trouble."

"Really?" Alfred says confused. "Then I will proudly display the award you have decided to give him as good samaritan." I would smile at that second part, if it didn't imply I was more likely to cause trouble than to help.

"Is there anything in between?"

"Highly improbable." I stick out my tongue to protest.

"Well I'm sure he can explain to you what happened just sign here." Alfred looks over and signs what he needs to and closes the door.

"What happened young man?" he said disappointed.

"I didn't do anything wrong!" I defended.

* * *

7 Hours Earlier

 **GOTHAM PREP, GOTHAM CITY**

"This is not a drill every single one of you are going to have a talk with the police for your own safety," Commissioner Gordon tells my class. Now I've been given safety tips at some of my old schools, but getting it at Gotham Prep was something else. The most elite, most prestigious, least bribed private school in Gotham doesn't attract parents for those reasons. They attract parents because of it's safety. Fifteen private security guards, surveillance equipment rarely seen outside of authoritarian regimes, and only a five minute deployment for a swat team to raid the school: What parent wouldn't feel save sending their kid to this school? Especially since the alternatives in Gotham are in Gotham City.

"Uh Amy what happened?" I whisper over to my classmate. Everybody else seems to be whispering around as well trying to figure out why the police are here.

"You didn't hear what happened-" she tries to tell me.

"Everybody settle down. Ms. Winston and Mr. Todd be quiet!" our teacher yells. I swear that teacher always picks on me. What the #%^! did I do?

"Thank you." the Commish tells our teacher. "I'm sure your all curious about what happened." Definitely a detective this one. "Yesterday during a weekend sports competition held here at Gotham Prep the mother of one of your classmates, Hamilton Hill Jr. -" was arrested and taken to prison alongside her husband for corruption! FINALLY that corrupt ba- "-was kidnapped."

"[GASP]" the entire class started whispering to each other. Looks like we are going to have to have to get the security lecture on how to avoid stranger danger, though I have a much different reaction to the rest of my class. "[MOAN]"

Hamilton Hill Jr., is the son of Hamilton Hill Sr., a major industrialist and shipping mongul. Bruce and I have been trying to tie him to illegal arms sales from Gotham to Iran, Quarc, and Bwunda and drugs from Santa Prisca cartels. Of course since he only controls the ports directly (the ships are run by lackeys) he's only known as the great patriotic billionaire who removed led from slums and built schools for the poor (which have addiction rates of 50% because of those Santa Priscan cartels he's so close to). His son isn't a criminal though… just an #$$. Which makes me thank whoever did this. For once a kidnapping of someone undesirable in Gotham.

"We believe she is being held for ransom. Given that all of you are also high priority targets for kidnapping, we will be adding new security measures."

"What type of security measures?" I ask. Better not cancel fencing club-

"All after school clubs have been canceled-"

"Aww COME ON-" and just like that the entire class erupts in rage. Extracurricular activities at this school are ridiculously well funded. I fight a robot for fencing sometimes! The Batcave doesn't even have fighting robots! Though I guess Mount Justice has one in Red Tornado.

"What about our trip to Malta?" one student asked. This is a very rich school. The school funds trips to Europe because... rich people stuff. Well at least the class #$$ won't be a brat like our last school trip-

"It has been canceled, unless Ms. Hills kidnappers can be found in the next week."

"THAT'S RIDICULOUS," the entire class yells at the idea of the class #$$ and his corrupt mother ruining our trip.

"All of you, JASON, shut up. Your classmate is going-" my teacher starts yelling.

"Whatever Ms. Bertinelli."

"I'm sorry your trip was canceled, but it is too great a risk for students."

"What about teachers?" Amy asks. Ms. Bertinelli looks away.

"Separate issue."

"[whispering]" Okay at least if none of the teachers are going to be here next week we got it off. Will probably go do some crime fighting in Tokyo or Seoul till Europe gets dark and have my own trip to Malta-

"Now class your substitute next week will be-" or I'm going to find the next first lady of Gotham, and save my field trip to Europe- I mean her #$$.

* * *

Nine Hours Later

 **BATCAVE**

Robin POV

I sit at the computer in the Batcave going over the video footage of the street outside Gotham Prep. Ms. Hill is seen going out onto the street, taking a call on her phone. She sees a car come up, she approaches it, then three armed guards got out and held her at gunpoint, taking her into the car. Then the car vanishes between CC cameras inside and outside the south Gotham tunnel.

"Trying to help your classmate I see," Alfred tells me having brought me a cucumber sandwich to help with my research.

"Trying to help my class not suffer because of that a-" I try to reply.

"LANGUAGE," the stern British man reminds me. I shrug. "So why do you think Ms. Hill was kidnapped." I hold up three fingers

"Ransom, publicity, or science."

"Oh, and which of the three do you think it is."

"Publicity." I state clearly.

"Publicity for whom?"

"Her husband. He wants to be Mayor of Gotham City, what better way to get public support than for there to be an outcry of support for a man whose wife was kidnapped by the crime he can stop. And if he is capable of doing what the police can't do half the time and recover a kidnapping victim alive, he's the next Mayor."

"Do you have a evidence?" Alfred asks.

"Here," I pull up a phone caller list for Ms. Hill's cell phone. "There she spent the entire day alternating between calls on three burner phones and her husband." I then pull up a image of three people buying phones at a Radio Shack. "All three of those phones she talked to, bought at the Radio Whack."

"The Radio What?"

"So many phones bought at that Radio Shack were used in murders that it is now the Radio Whack."

"Ahh how can I forget."

"Now the guys at the Radio Whack are all connected to three other hostage related kidnappings the police couldn't get them on. Since she alternated between calling her husband, they were probably checking if everything was going to plan. Then they called her in the middle of her sons track contest, told her to get onto the street, then made it seem like they kidnapped her."

"She faked a kidnapping in front of her own son? That's an awfully dark suggestion." Alfred says. "Are you sure they would do that."

"You should have an idea of how greedy and #!*%!$^ the Hill family is," I pull up some images on the computer. "Here sued a homeless shelter for devaluing property prices. Their hospitals swindled thousands out of the family members of the dead by claiming they had a chance to live. They tried to shutdown the Catholic Church in Gotham to build a-."

"Even then, a risky scheme like this..."

"Do you not remember what happened with Senator-"

"[PING]" The computer sets off an alarm.

"What's that?" Alfred asks.

"I set the computer to look for any use of her STAR Labs computer access codes," I tell him.

"Why does Ms. Hill have access to STAR Labs?"

"She a scientist at their Gotham division. Engineering labs with a focus on alien technology."

"And you think she was kidnapped for publicity reasons over her access to alien knowledge because..."

"Do you really want me to turn into speculation on the history channel?" I respond. "If it involves aliens then we might as well speculate she was mistaken for a cow and taken to be dissected. Do you really want me to guess what goes on with alien s-" I remember Alfred's earlier comment. "-stuff!" He gives me a stare for almost cussing again. "And she only joined the Star Labs alien tech division a month ago. There are probably better people to kidnap."

"Why she in a Star Labs alien tech division?"

"She's a Computer Engineer with a degree from Cal Tech. She was in the Star Labs Brother project-"

"The computer surveillance system?"

"Yep, Big Brother. When industrial secrets were leaked to research agencies in Markovia they... 'relocated' -" I air quote. "-suspected scientists to other Star Labs departments hoping to stop the leaks."

"She was purged?"

"Essentially."

"So she's at STAR Labs across Wayne Tower, I believe that's lab for advanced technology in Gotham." Alfred speculates. I take a closer look at the computer.

"No..." I use the GPS signal to track where she logged into and it's not Gotham. "She's in... Metropolis? In a building that is supposed to be closed today?"

"Snuck into the office I see."

"Probably smuggled her up north to try and avoid Gotham press. Paparazi are probably staking out Hamilton Hill's houses right now. Plus an empty office is a good place to hide."

"I believe the Metropolis press would be interested in her story."

"Do you really think Metropolis cares about anything that goes on in Gotham?" I ask sarcastically.

"Only if it crosses the border," Alfred admits.

"Well I'm just gonna check on her," I say as I prep my camera and walk away from the computer.

"Are you needed? If she is in a STAR Labs building shouldn't the Metropolis police simply enter the building to find her."

"Maybe, but as a son of Gotham I believe that I have a responsibility to solve this."

"By yourself?" Alfred disapproves. "You're going to Metropolis by yourself."

"Who could I get to tag along?" Alfred stares at me disapprovingly. "I mean Bruce lets me do solo missions."

"Not outside of Gotham."

"Well I have to save that poor-in a metaphorical sense-woman."

"He would also ask that you go with him."

"Well currently he and Dick are trying to fighting to the death like they always do."

"Their relationship is not that bad..." Alfred says unconvincingly. I, not believing something I never saw, pointed over to the blood stained giant penny. Alfred is silent for a while as he tries to formulate a response. "That was a long time-"

"It was an hour ago." Alfred stays bizarrely quiet. I got here and Bruce and Dick were investigating a robbery similar to one that occurred when he was Robin. I was investigating on the main computer while they used the forensics area. Eventually I started hearing someone yell. I turned around to see Bats and Nightwing fighting in midair as they fell into the main section of the Batcave. That fight lasted 15 minutes in which the giant penny was stained with Nightwing's blood. Eventually Batman got into the Batjet and went off without him and Nightwing followed on motorcycle. "Well, Bruce and Dick are probably gonna hunt each other tonight. So I'll just go to calm public speculation over Ms. Hill because this needs to end now." I walk further away.

"And why do you think Master Bruce would be alright with you going to Metropolis?"

"Why would you think that Bruce would be mad?" I counter.

"Because he would not want you to go an dangerous adventure by yourself." The two of us stare at each other for a few seconds.

"HAHAHAHA," I break out laughing. "Metropolis... HA... DANGEROUS HAHAHA." I just continue to the Zeta-Tube.

"I'm serious." He attempts to show seriously before realizing the stupidity of his own statement.

"Yeah right. Haha-" I insert the Zeta coordinates. "What are you afraid that their somebody might be committing a food safety violation? Or that somebody is playing music too loudly. It's #^& Metropolis, they don't have real crimes and they don't have real gangs. Their definition of unthinkable crime is called a Gotham Tuesday. Even with Superman taking that off world trip I overheard Bruce talking about, it's still more pure than a boy scout, in a church, helping an old lady knit clothes for orphans." Alfred agrees with me but tries not to show it. "What's the worst that could happen?"

 **"Recognized Robin. B13."**

Alfred just stares at me.

"Fine I'll try calling someone up for a team up," I say as I materialize away.

* * *

 **METROPOLIS**

I pull out my phone and start texting the only other person that I could think of being in Metropolis.

* * *

(6:15) Robin: You available?

(6:20) Superboy: For what?

(6:20) Superboy: Is thusnabout what Batman wanted/

(6:20) Superboy: It's not abut Batman?

(6:20) Superboy: Right?

(6:23) Superboy: I DON'T HAVE IT DONE OK ILL GET UT DONE

(6:24) Superboy: ...

(6:25) Superboy: .

(6:25) Superboy: ..

(6:26) Superboy: DOES HE NEED IT

(6:26) Robin: Sorry was getting a sandwich

(6:26) Robin: Nah Bats doesn't know about this, but I'm here on a kidnapping case.

(6:27) Superboy: ARE YOU GOING TO KIDNAP SOMEONE AGAIN

(6:27) Robin: No this time I'm stopping a kidnapping

(6:28) Superboy: Oh, well I don't live in Metropolis

(6:28) Robin: Do you not live with your Dad?

(6:29) Superboy: No I live at the cave.

(6:29) Robin: SERIOUSLY

(6:30) Robin: Even Batman goes to sleep outside the Batcave

(6:30) Robin: Why don't you live with your mom?

(6:32) Robin: Hey.

(6:34) Robin: Hello.

(6:40) Robin: Is this a touchy subject for you?

* * *

 **STAR LABS, METROPOLIS**

Robin POV

I guess I'm going to have to ask Bruce about his mom later.

Just as I am about to text him about it, I see the reason why I'm here walk out of STAR.

The damsel in distress walking out of her office as she thinks of the stories of captivity she is going to tell the press. They jumped me and dragged me away to some warehouse, they forced me to do things, then held a gun to my head as they released me.

"[THUMP]"

Oh she fell over, probably to have photo worthy depiction of her captivity. And her bodyguard come to... to... to... to hold a gun to her head.

"PLEASE HELP!" I hear Ms. Hill scream. I jump to the door, staying away from the guard. "Don't..." I see some tears come out.

"Given the assistance you have given to our god, of course we will help you." the guard held his gun to her head. "Now be clean-"

I pounce on him from three stories up, taking him out instantly. I look at the guard I took out and see that he's wearing a STAR Labs uniform. It's a size too big for him, there's no security ID, and his weapons are from North Rhelasia. Was probably an impersonator.

"Oh thank god!" Ms. Hill says hugging me. "I thought I was going to die." She keeps getting more and more teary eyed. "I didn't think anyone would come to save me."

"Your welcome?" I say somewhat confused. Maybe she really was kidnapped. "Can you explain to me why he was trying to kill you?" I ask.

"[SNIFF] I finished working for him [SNIFF] then he said I did my part. We all did. [SNIFF] I thought he would let me go." She starts crying more.

"Ok back up," I say trying to piece this all together. "Who kidnapped you? How many of them are there? And what did they want you to work on? And is there anyone else in there." I hold her steady to get her to answer.

"They kept threatening me over the phone. I told my husband [SNIFF] but he brushed it off. That they couldn't come for me. They took me from my sons-"

"They being..." I ask.

"Some cult a religion of blood."

"The Church of Blood!" I exclaim. One of the deadliest cults in the world is in Metropolis! The cult believes that a demonic lord watches over them. They are attempting to summon him to our dimension through either magic and science. Their members are thought to have influenced the robbery of Lex Corp tech in Argentina, the death of a teleporting metahuman in Detroit, and the Jonestown incident in Guyana.

"[SNIFF] That one," she cries.

"#!%^," I exclaim. "What did they have you work on?" I say somewhat hastily, frightening her.

"It-It-It-" she keeps stuttering for a while. "A d-d-d-door-a-phantom-a..." She's too freaked out to give me any information. "They got other employees to come in-" They probably timed up their takeover and kidnapping to coincide with the day a STAR building is supposed to be closed, giving them access to world class scientists and world class research equipment.

"Batman." I attempt to use my communicator. "Batman!"

"[SIZZLE]"

I take a look at my holo-computer and see that somebody is jamming all signals going out of the immediate area.

I take a second to assess the situation. The Church of Blood, kidnapped a STAR Labs scientist to work on some project. They had temporarily access to the STAR Labs research server, then shut out all wireless communication. And if they were working on the project here, was it because they could only use equipment from STAR to study it, or did they think they could get it done in a few hours without risk of suspicion falling on STAR Labs or Superman getting involved.

I think of my options. Either run and call backup, hoping that I don't allow the bad guys to escape, kill hostages, or complete whatever they were working on. Or I can fight them myself.

"Ms. Hill," I tell her grabbing her shoulder for comfort. "You are on your own. Phones aren't working outside this building, run to nearest working payphone and call the police tell them what happened here." I walk into the building.

"YOU'RE LEAVING ME!" she yells in fear.

"[SLAM]" I shut the door on her.

It did not take me long to find another screaming scientist.

"You will not get away with this!" the scientist screamed.

"Shut up old man," one of the two armed guards said. "Our lord demands silence!" The guard pulls out a knife. He attempts to grab the scientist, but before he can one of my batarangs goes through his hand. "AHHHHH."

The other guard looks my way and attempt to shoot at me, only for another batarang to lodge itself into the gun. He attempts to take it out-

"[BOOM]"

But it explodes throwing him into a wall, knocking him out. The other starts running away. I can't let him get away, so I throw bolas at him, tying his feet and causing him to fall to the ground. He's still not out so I walk over.

"You brat-" I grab him by his hair and slam his head into the wall, knocking him out (as well as some teeth).

"Thank you son," I turn around to see the scientist I saved. "Professor Emil Hamilton, head of Alien engineering at STAR Labs." He extends his hand.

"Robin," I reply while shaking his hand. "Boy Wonder. Mind telling me what the Church of Blood was having you do."

"The Church of Blood?"

"The guys who were threatening you?" Did Ms. Hill really hear that the Church of Blood was here.

"Ahh, I thought that was a metaphor for something violent." Professor Hamilton sits down. "After lunch the thugs came in and took over the whole building."

"This is an five story building and part of a 6 building campus."

"There were a lot of them. They gathered everyone from the other buildings and stuffed them into here."

"Where did they stuff them?"

"I don't know, I wasn't taken with the rest of them. They wanted me to work on their Phantom Key."

"The Phantom Key?"

"It's a piece of alien technology they brought with them. Some sort of portal. A door to an alternate dimension." That doesn't sound good.

"Why did they need STAR? To fix it?"

"No the device was intact. They had two problems: lack of energy, lack of translation."

"What does that mean?"

"They couldn't power the device, so they had most of the STAR Labs staff from Metropolis transfer power from other projects to the device. They also couldn't understand the language the technology was written in, so they had some of our technology translators from Gotham and Central City create a new interface for them."

"Do you not have translators or alien computer engineers in Metropolis?"

"No, the desire to keep knowledge of alien technology out of a single location is security standard. Gotham handles reverse computer engineering, Star City handles translation, we run intial scans for the technology."

"Cold War superhuman policy, Belgrade Accords, I understand." Alfred gave me the whole history of superhumans in the Cold War. Particularly for areas he was involved in as part of MI6.

"They had them studying the alien texts before they even got here and finished before my team could give them the energy the needed."

"So can they operate the device!?"

"Yes."

"[POW]" I punch the wall in anger creating a crater in it as I grit my teeth.

"Where are they keeping it?!" I ask.

"Main testing bay down that hall." Professor Hamilton says pointing left.

"Run out that exit!" I say pointing to the hall I entered. "The Church of Blood is jamming all wireless communications, get far away from STAR Labs before trying to call the police."

"Where are you going?!"

"To stop Brother Blood!"

I race down the hallway to reach the device before it could be activated. The last thing the world needs is for some demonic being to come out of an alternate dimension for the Church of Blood.

When I get to an intersection of two hallways two guards walk out of a parallel intersection. Before the two of them can register me I punch one of them so hard I hear a bone crack before their head hits the wall leaving a crater in it.

"The fu-" before the other can even comprehend I disarm him and hold his arm in a lock that prevents movement. "-ahhhhh-"

"You have five seconds to tell me where they are opening the portal-"

"Screw-"

"[CRACK]" I break 2 of his fingers.

"AHHH-. Alright its-"

"[CRACK]" I break his wrist now.

"DON'T LIE TO ME," I yell over more of his screams.

Too afraid to do anything he just weakly points where he came from and to the left.

"Thanks." I knee him to the face and see him fall over.

I rush down the last of the hallway and see the final door. I kick down the door to find a room with three black cloaked magicians using the computers.

"A worshiper of the false heroes," what I assume is their leader yells. "Banish him to Azarath."

I get to work dispatching them. The first guy I take out with a simple punch to the face. The next one I grab the hood he's wearing and wrap it around his head to prevent him from being able to see, then take a batarang and use it like a tact-pin to keep it pinned to his back. The third guy rushes to finish something on the computer while I deal with his friends. I rush over and slam his head on the computer.

"What did you just activate!?" I ask angrily. He doesn't respond because he was knocked out by one slam. I toss him aside to try and read the computer myself. Key word being try because I don't understand zeta-physics enough to read this computer. But if a cult that wants to bring a demon into this world is using portal tech, it's obvious what they are trying.

The League will take some time to get here. I just need to make sure they can't summon their demon in time-

"The great awakening has begun!"

Time I don't think I have. I look through glass and see a cylindrical room with a purple portal in the center of it. And down there I see the leader of this cult himself. Brother Blood aka Sebastian Blood, wearing a skull-logoed cult-robe. Well at least he is trying to summon his demon through non-human sacrifice means this time.

"He is coming to wipe the sins of this world."

The portal has some weird energy beam connected to some device. If I can destroy the device, can it stop the portal.

"Apathy, Greed, Corruption: it will all be wiped from this world!"

I see 25 of his guards surrounding him. All of them are armed and there isn't anywhere for me to hide from gun fire. If I go down there I'm going to be shot.

"LONG LIVE TRI-"

"[CRASH]" I shatter the glass and jump down. My cape will give me four seconds in the air.

"Who dare disturbs-" he's cutoff by the flash bang I throw. It won't distract them for long. I throw two explosive batarangs at the ray to destroy the portal. As I touch the ground I attempt to grapple back into the room I came from.

"[BANG]" AHH %$#!, this armor is good but not perfect. One of them must have been less affected by the flash bang and shot me. The armor probably took most of the impact but there might be internal bleeding. I start to get up before anyone else can shoot me.

"[BOOOM]" the batarangs go off destroying the ray, but the rest of the Church of Blood comes through.

"OPEN FIR-" Blood tries to say-

"[SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCHHHHHH]" An ear defining sound causes me, Blood, and the 25 guards to fall to our knees. I look up to see that the source of the sound is the collapsing portal.

"AHHHHHHH"

The sound begins to become less painful as the noise level quiets down. But as I look in the portal a silhouette appears. Initially I can't make it out but the closer it gets it looks more and more human-

"[BOOOOM]"

The portal finally collapses releasing a cloud of smoke into the room.

"[COUGH] [COUGH]" I can't see anything through the smoke. Though that means I can't be shot by them either-

"[BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG]"

Or they can just fire everywhere and hope to hit me-

"[BANG]"

...

...

...

That bullet bounced off something in front of me.

"[BANG] [BANG] [BANG]"

The #$%!. It's like some invisible barrier is protecting me. The smoke begins to clear and the guards start firing at me with more accuracy.

"[BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG] [BANG]"

As the smoke clears, I realize it's not a barrier but a person.

"eteerf fkjegfe ehkefjh efefge euyhj" the red headed figure said in some language I can't understand. She then jumps as high as Superboy into the air, and the bullets all follow her thankfully. She then falls like a meteor and hits the ground.

"[BOOOOOM]"

She scatters the entire church, in come cases 20 feet away from where they were.

The impact essentially turns the room into a giant hole.

"Who are you?" I ask her.

"Maxima ehregjdfgdg jejhrgejlg dfkgjdkgh Almerac, ijdkfhhd dsjfshfs Superman," she responds.

"Wait Superman!"

"eirueef Superman yfehjfhjf."

"Can you do English?" I ask not expecting a response.

"Of course I am with an Earthling." Okay that's helpful. Wait? with a? Earthling?

"Who are you with?"

"My husband of course. As Maxima of Almerac. I am here to perform Rnhfry with my husband, your champion, Superman."

What the #%^&!

* * *

 **See if you can find all the easter eggs from YJ and DC in the chapter.**

 **Please comment!**


	2. Conversation

**I think this story will end up being 4 chapter at most FYI. Probably will upload a lot of stuff before the new year.**

* * *

 **METROPOLIS**

16 Hours Later

 _Superman POV_

"So what happened between you and Lois," Hal asks me for the eight time. After taking a short nap, I started flying over to the Daily Planet to confront Lois. Hal decided to come along for some reason.

"I said I was going to ask her about the headline," I reply.

"So what did you do?"

"What did I do?" I got defensive. "I didn't approve of the headline."

"Would your girlfriend print that headline if she wasn't mad at you?"

"I've been gone for a week what could I have done?" Hal shrugs. "Why are you coming along?"

"I really want to know what happened. You burned the article with your heat vision, so I have to ask the reporter who filed the report."

"Couldn't you have gotten another newspaper while I was taking a nap?"

"Maybe but I'd rather learn what happened with you."

As the two of us approached the Daily Planet, I pull out my phone to call Lois.

* * *

 **DAILY PLANET, METROPOLIS**

20 Minutes Later

"Are you still calling her?" Hal asks as he uses his power ring to play chess with himself.

"She'll come," I respond.

"This is your eighteenth call," he points out, a small arrow into my heart. "She's not coming." I ignore him.

"Hi this is Lois Lane," the phone says. "I'm not available right now leave me a message." I get that message again and begin to recall.

"Ok let me try."

"What?"

"I'll call her, just give me her number." Hal takes out his phone.

"Why do you think you can get a hold of her?"

"Because she probably hasn't blocked me."

"She hasn't blocked-" I think for a second, "-no she hasn't blocked me."

"Uh huh," Hal says unconvinced.

"964. 555. 5743." I tell him. He puts the phone on speaker.

"[RING]"

"[RING]"

"[RING]" She must be busy-

"Hello," Lois voice comes out of the phone. I attempt to speak but I am cut off by Hal who uses his ring to create a construct of a hand over my mouth.

"Hello Ms. Lane," Hal says in a much deeper voice. "This is the Batman." I stare at him in shock of his stupidity. If Bruce finds out- "I wish to meet with you on the top of the Daily Planet building."

"Oh. Is this about Robin?" she says in a calm voice. "Or Superman?" she says in a voice concealing so much anger that spirits come out from the phone.

"Yea-" Hal almost breaks character as the evil spirits tug at his soul. "Yes." He says in character before closing his phone. "Are you sure there is nothing you want to repent?" Hal asks me.

"N-no," I respond.

"I've never seen anyone so intimidating with just a name beside Bruce."

We stressfully wait for Lois to appear.

"[CREAK]" The two of us hear the door open.

"Hey Batman," I hear Lois say. "I'd like to thank-" Lois then stops speaking when she realizes that it is us.

"Lois I would like to talk-" I say in a stern voice. Lois proceeds to give of an aura of rage. "-to you-" I stutter my way through the rest of my sentence. "-a bou ut-" as I am about to finish something unexpected happen. The demon like aura dissipated. It was replaced with... a smile.

"You would like to talk to me," she said with an angelic smile. "I'm very glad you came to me-" Her smile hasn't changed but it suddenly got less comfortable. "-before your wife." Then her smile, despite no change in form, took new meaning. Her smile was one of condescension and disappointment. "Superman!" I snap back to reality. "What do you want me to tell you that your wife can't?" Her smile changed for the first time as it grew stronger.

"M-m-m-myy-y-yy-y-" I stutter. What is she- Who gave her this idea?

"Yes your wife," she gets uncomfortably close and pinches my cheek."Robin was so kind to tell me about her."

"Robin?" Hal interjects.

"Yes, he came here to investigate your wife." What? "Actually it might have been wives." Hal looks at me with a dropped jaw. Lois turns around an starts to walk away.

"Wait Lois!" I yell after her.

"What?" she says with a leak of rage in her voice.

"I-I don't have a wife." She gives me a look of disbelief.

"So Superboy is NOT a Kryptonian?" she asks. Conner, where does he come into this.

"Well... no he is a Kryptonian." I say not knowing the proper answer.

"I see. Now I know how reliable my source was." She begins to step into the Daily Planet. "Then I hope he raised by people better than you or your wife." What is she talking about? Lois continues to walk away.

"Wait Lois!" She ignores me and walks back into to Daily Planet.

"Your wife?!" Hal asks shocked.

"I-I-I don't know...What? It-"

* * *

 **STAR LABS, METROPOLIS**

16 Hours Earlier

 _Green Lantern (John Stewart) POV_

"Alright can you explain that last part again," I ask the woman again.

"I told you, that little brat forced me to run in the rain," she complained.

"That brat being Robin?" I ask skeptically.

"Yes he also sent me out to contact the League," Dr. Hamilton interjects.

"Right..." I say skeptically. "And what did he do after that?"

"I saw him leave the building with someone."

"Batman?"

"No, a woman."

"Anything else you can tell us? Anything to identify her with."

"She was too far away, but she didn't look like any of our staff."

"So she came from outside?"

"Hey John one of them is coming through!" Flash yells at me.

"Coming!"

Well despite this incident, it's been a really quiet week. Superman and Hal went into space a week ago and Superman wanted some people to watch over Metropolis. So I agreed to cover for the week during the night with Flash covering during the day. Just as we were about to alternate the League got a report of a hostage situation at STAR Labs, so we both ended up coming.

We get here and all the guards are knocked out, with the experimental zeta-tech room destroyed. After some simple facial scans Flash and I matched them to a cult known as the Church of Blood.

"So I just spoke to Dr. Hamilton about Robin," I tell Flash.

"Really?" Flash responds.

"Any idea who is pretending to be Dick?"

"Maybe it's the new kid."

"New kid?"

"Yeah didn't you hear." Flash responded. "Batman got another Robin."

"Where do you get one?"

"Do you want to know how to find a sidekick?"

"Well- Ye- I mean-Wait what was Robin doing here?"

"He was here? Does that mean Batman was here?"

"I don't know but according to Hamilton left with some girl."

"He's already got a date! He's supposed to be 11."

"I think she's too old for him."

"Ugggghhhhhh" one of the cultists begins to come through.

"Once we interrogate this guy lets go find Robin," Flash says.

* * *

(7:27) Robin: Heyyyyyyy...

(7:27) Robin: I probably shouldn't have asked that

(7:28) Superboy: What

(7:28) Superboy: Yeah I guess

(7:29) Robin: You look nothing like her

(7:30) Superboy: ?

(7:31) Robin: I'm with your mom right now if your wondering how I know that.

(7:33) Robin: Do you want me to say anything to her?

* * *

 **MOUNT JUSTICE**

 _Superboy POV_

What?

How does-

It isn't-

I...

* * *

(7:34) Superboy: I DON'T HAVE A MOM

* * *

Left caps lock on.

Maybe I should have gone with Robin earlier.

NO WAIT!

He's trying to mess with me.

Dick warned me about his mind tricks.

Best I avoid them by ignoring him.

I mean what's the worst that can happen by ignoring him.

* * *

 **BIBBO'S DINER**

 _Robin POV_

Well I guess that he doesn't want to talk to me.

And judging from the all caps he doesn't want to talk to Maxima either. Unless he literally doesn't have a mom... I ponder that in the diner, cause... aliens, until Maxima starts speaking.

"What is this establishment?" She asks curiously. She stares around the diner and is met with the stares of other customers. Five customers and one employee was in the diner.

"A restaurant?" I ask. "Do they really not have those in space?"

"I'm not familiar with the Earthish term 'restaurant.'" Earthish term?

"It's a place where people eat."

"Communally? Seems unhygenic." I feel like I should respond since she seems to have insulted all of us Earthlings tradition.

"Would you rather talk One-on-One?"

"Hmmmmmmmm. If it's not too much of an hassle."

I walk up to and get up on the front counter, the owner visible irked that I was standing on it.

"ALRIGHT," I announce to everyone. "I WILL PAY EVERYONE IN HERE $2000 TO LEAVE AND THE OWNER $10,000 TO LET US EAT ALONE!" Everyone in the diner started to talk to one another.

"Show me the money," Bibbo demanded. He probably thinks I'm a cosplayer. I proceed to toss a wad of cash at him. Batman has me keep $20,000 in cash on me in case of an emergency. "This is real?"

"Of course it's real," I say feeling slighted. The rest of the customers start to line up for their money. I give them each $2,000 however the last person, a girl about a year older than me eating with her mom asked for something extra.

"Hey, umm do you think that- I could possible- I don't know" I look down and see a camera in her hand.

"Do you want a photo?" I ask.

"Yes!" she said in awe. She proceeded to turn the camera around for a selfie and, to up the ante, gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"[FLASH]"

"THANK YOU!" She and her mom start leave the building.

"Is that one of your lovers?" Superwoman (that's what I call Maxima) asks.

My lov-... one of them? That's a bizarre phrase. Is she, and by extension Superman- and Kryptonians-

"So why did you bring me here?" I ask the self declared (one of many?) lover of Superman, and probable Kryptonian based on her superpowers.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm hungry?" Annnnnd this is probably gonna be a long night. "So I'm gonna have the turkey burger and fries."

"If we are here to replenish I shall have the Ise Kram."

"Ice cream?"

"Is that how you pronounce it?" I guess English is her second language.

"One ice cream and one turkey burger with fries," Bibbo asks.

"I think we'll take the table by the window," I respond.

I guide Superwoman to the table and we sit on opposite sides of the booth, facing each other.

"So you and Superman are..." I start.

"Husband and wife," she responds quickly. "I think that's the Earthish term for it." She thinks!? That's a REALLY big claim to be 'thinking ' about.

"So how many other people are in your and Superman's husband-wife thing?"

"Hmmmm. There is some of my servants-" I'm leaning towards misinterpretation. "-that reporter, Ms. Lane." As in Lois Lane? Superman's reporter he's always saving. "then there are-"

"And you understand what you do in the husband-wife thing?"

"It's when you compete to produce offspring." I guess that's accurate enough.

"Compete with who?"

"Husbands and wives." Wait if all those people she mentioned were involved in 'producing offspring' is Superman a polygamist? Are Kryptonians polygamists?

"How did you get here?" Blood and his cult were trying to summon a demon, and I don't think she counts as one.

"I was trying to leave the Phantom Zone."

"The Phantom Zone?"

"An alternate dimension. I was trying to get out and when I saw the portal open up I took it." The Phantom Zone must be some type of alien hub for intergalactic travel. Link a Dubai or Paris of space.

"So why are you here?" I ask her point blank. "You mentioned something called the Rhato?"

"The Rnhfry. It's the final coming of age ritual in my culture."

"Is it for the kids?" Superboy seems like he's about to turn 18. So did she come to do an alien bar mitzvah for him?

"Sort of," she finishes off the last of her ice cream. "I must now kill my husbands greatest rival for the next generation." I stop eating my burger.

"Please repeat that." I ask of her.

"I must remove any challenge to my love."

"You-"

"[BEEP]" A device on her belt seems to have gone off. She pulls out a cube and brings it to her ear.

"Jdfhbgkdjskf skjdfjskgs Maxima," she speaks into the cube.

"Dfkjnfdhkgjdd dfkfhfgd Odhfhg," the cube responds.

"Eiurhgdrgk Lex Luthor jdkfgdfgd eiktur."

"Udughkdusfksdhfs." Maxima then puts the cube back into her belt and starts to walk off.

"Hey where are you going?" I ask following her out of the restaurant.

"I have to go meet my servants, " she casually brushes off. "Thank you for the human delicacy."

"What are you going to do with Lex Luthor?" That was the only name that seemed familiar in her phone call.

"He is my husband's greatest rival." Rival? Luthor's some sort of philanthropist in this city. Does greatest hero count as a rivalry? If Superboy has sibling and she has to do this again is Batman next?

"Wait-" she's about to do a super-jump. I fire my wrist taser and aim for the back of her neck.

"ughh" that is no where near as much pain as I need-

She grabs my taser with her hand and yanks me towards her. She grabs my uniform with one hand and bring me face to face with her.

"That was unnecessary," she tells me slightly annoyed. "But I don't have time for you." She then chucks me down the street.

"[CRACK]" I went through the glass of some shop. I get up and look at her jump away. Ok now it's time to call Batman. I click on my communicator.

"Batman-"

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT! [BAM]" I hear Dick scream then punch.

"Stop blaming me for your own failiures! [BAM] [BAM] [BAM] GROW UP!" I hear Batman yell back.

"Batman?" I carefully ask.

"Let me finish this- [BAM]" I think Dick got back at him, but I turn off my communicator before one of them can answer.

"[SIGH]" They probably aren't going to be helpful today. I pull out the map on my holo-computer to check where Maxima is heading. I was able to slip a tracker on her when she grabbed me. Seems to be heading outside the city, so I don't think she will be a problem for a while. I better start investigating before she gets back.

"Oh my god its Robin the Boy Wonder!" I turn around to see a crowd of students begin to come and surround me.

"How does the grappling hook work."

"What fabric is this cape?"

"Please sign my notebook!"

This crowd is getting too close to comfort. I think one of them is trying to undo my utility belt. Four more are stuffing paper in my face. Don't get me wrong, I love being treated like a famous actor. But I would also like to be able to greet the crowd on my terms.

I eventually squirm out of the crowd using a grappling hook.

* * *

15 minutes later

 **DAILY PLANET, METROPOLIS**

 _Lois Lane POV_

"Lane is that Quarci story done yet!" the chief calls from across the office.

"Almost there chief!" I reply. "I need a few more sources to confirm some numbers on militias in neighboring states."

"Can Kent bring back what you need from Sudan?" the chief asks.

"I hope so!"

"Don't hope, call him!"

"Got it!"

The chief was cranky that one of his reporters hadn't called in a week, but he's nowhere near as mad as I am at Kent. Here we are working on this story about Bialyian arms sales to anti-Quraci militias that launched raids on the country over the past year. Kent get's a call from a Sudanese boarder guard with evidence against the Bialya, jets off then turns off his phone. I been craving updates on a piece that can get me a second Pulitzer nomination, and Kent's silence doesn't help.

As I stress over my work I see a note I left on my desk. I'm curious since I don't remember writing it. Before I start reading it, I notice that the S seems to be the crossover of Superman's logo and a heart.

 _Dear Ms. Lane,_

 _I wish to talk to you about your S. Meet me in the janitors closet._

 _-R_

My... Superman... with a heart! But, I haven't told anyone about Superman and I. Who could possibly-

I investigate the signature of the letter. The R has a circle around it that looks familiar. Could it be Robert in the world bureau? Rachel in health? I look around to try and find them, but they aren't on this floor... or are they already in the closet.

I get up and slowly and walk towards the closet. Trying not to alert anyone to my movements. I take the letter with me to avoid leaving any evidence. As I approach the closet, I take a look at the ground and see no light is emerging from the closet. Am I early? I open the door just to be sure that no one is in there.

"Hello?" I ask into the dark room. I take a few steps into the room. Then the lights come on.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Lane," I hear a voice come out from behind me. I turn around and see Mr. R.

"Robin!"

"In the flesh."

"What are you doing in Metropolis?" I turn around a bit before following up with. "Is Batman here?"

"Nah, figured I didn't need him to deal with a small kidnapping case."

"A kidnapping case?" I didn't hear anything in the office about a kidnapping?

"Somebody from Gotham was kidnapped and smuggled up here."

"Shouldn't you have an adult help you with that?"

"What, you don't think I can't handle myself!" he says insulted.

"Why would you be coming to me if you could handle myself?" I retort.

"Simple. I can fight, research, and save the world, but I don't know everything about Superman."

"You wanted to ask me about Superman? Wouldn't your father be a better option?" And what does Kal have to do with a kidnapping case?

"He's busy, separate case in Gotham. And I don't think he took any of his ex-girlfriends on double dates with Superman, so I figured I'd ask the reporter who knew him best."

"Yeah I've also never been on a double-date with Superman." Or a movie date. Or to a restaurant. Or to a park. Thou maybe I should bug him about it more. If he had a secret identity that would solve some of the attention problems.

"Yeah I guess it would be awkward for you to go on any date with him."

"How rude! We have romantic encounters!" Just because we can't be seen together doesn't mean we don't do anything. And I'm not taking romantic criticism from a 12 year old.

"What?" the kid says confused. "You two are dating?"

"Yes... Isn't that why you put the heart over the S."

"What heart?" he asks confused. I uncrumple the letter the kid put on my desk and show it to him. "That wasn't supposed to be a heart."

"What it looks-" after another look at it I could see why it may not be a heart. It looks like the shield S logo of Superman.

"I think your just paranoid that his ex-wife will find you. " Huh. "Though I don't think she believes the ex-label."

"Wait WHAT?" HIS EX-WIFE!

"You're paranoid?" he answers, wondering if he got it correct.

"NO the thing after that!"

"That Supes ex-wife believes you're a paramour."

"Yes that!" he is then silent for a while. "Annnnddddd..."

"And what?" he responds unconcerned.

"That Superman is... was... [GULP]... married!"

"You didn't know?" he said perplexed. I take a second to examine the situation. Some kid from out of town comes without his father to talk to me, his father's best friend's girlfriend.

"[CHUCKLE] ha... ha..." I laugh uncomfortable enough for him to see through. "This is a joke right." I continue to laugh in a way that concerns him. "He never told me about any ex-wife-"

"Well I just met her," he interrupted, gaining my attention out of shock. "And there seems to be some family dysfunction with their kid not even wanting to talk with her."

"Their kid? You expect me to believe that my boyfriend tried to hide his ex-wife and kid."

"Well it could be that your his paramour, and the woman I met is his current wife."

"What are you- where did you get that idea?" I say perplexed.

"Well when I was talking with his ex-wife she made it seem like her culture is polygamist.

"Why do you think he is polygamist?"

"Well that's what this chick claiming to be his wife implied. And I assume if he married a-" I blank out because I don't want to hear the rest of what he has to say. This kid is clearly serious. He ACTUALLY believes this.

"You make it sound like he married another Kryptonian," I talked before he was finished so he was cut off.

"Or several," he interrupted as though to get me angry at the $#%%##$er Superman would be so easy.

"But there are no other Kryptonians, so how could he have been married to one!"

"Then who is Superboy's mother?" he asks me quite rhetorically. "You?" he followed up sarcastically.

"What does- Why bring that kid into it? AND WHY CAN'T I BE A MOM!" Does he not think I can handle it?!

"A human and a kryptonian cannot produce a child, the same way a cow and a pig cannot produce a child."

"What?" where did that analogy come from? "Am I a cow or a pig!"

"There cannot be inter-species breeding that is one of the basic concepts of genetics. I mean he's Superman's kid, so I would assume that his baby m-"

"Superboy is not Superman's kid," I remember Superman denying it to my face when he showed up a year ago.

"Yes he is!" Robin snaps back.

"No he isn't!" I get defensive. "I would know!"

"How well do you know him?" Robin asks me.

"I've been his girlfriend for three years-"

"And you two aren't married?" Robin asks. "After three years?" I clutch my fist as he probably asked that last part to mock me. "I wonder what his parents think about that?"

"His parents died on Krypton." I respond. Everyone should know that basic knowledge.

"No his adopted parents." Robin casually explodes my brain. "I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. -" he pauses as he is about to reveal their names. "Mr. and Mrs..." he responds, observing me. Though I cannot tell what my expression is, it interests him enough to be more careful with his words. "You have met his parents right?"

"I told you they died on Krypton."

"Then he was adopted." He repeats. "I'm sure he keeps a photo of them on his desk."

"Does Superman have a desk at the Hall of Justice?"

"No in his day job." HIS DAY JOB! He has a secret job! I guess he has to get life expenditures. "You know the one with his secret identity." That's it! I could believe that he has an ex-wife. But that he has one, a secret child, secret parents, AND a secret job. This kid is trying to mess with me.

"He doesn't have a secret identity!" I snap. "He doesn't wear a mask, how would he be able to keep it secret."

"Oh he hides his normal face in his secret identity, rather than obscure his face as Superman."

"What idiots would fall for that? Does he wear a pair of glasses and suddenly one of the most famous people on the planet is suddenly unrecognizable?"

"Apparently you would fall for it!" he says condescending. "I mean he's around you all day."

"I'm sure I would notice if he was around me!"

"Come on he probably tries to be charming with it. You mentioned that you were hungry for something and he overheard it, before showing up with what you want-"

 _"I would like a hamburger from Mario's but their shop here is closed-" I said. Then Superman brought me Mario's Burgers from Central city._

"Or that you wanted to watch a movie-"

 _"Is there a sequel to that film, I haven't seen it-" I said. Then Superman showed up with the movie._

"Or some job you needed help with-"

 _"Here Lois, this is what you need for-" Superman told me._

"Uhahhhhhh-" I break on the inside at his almost stalkerish understanding of things Kal has done for me. "You-"

"I can see you break down, don't bother resisting." It hurts to hear defeat so causally. "I'm surprised Superman didn't tell you his secret identity after three years." A part of my heart feel as though it was chipped away. "I mean even Bats tells his girlfriends after a while." I feel like he just stabbed my pride with a chainsaw. "Seriously if he hid his secret identity, is a kid that much further."

"I-I-" I don't believe it. I muster up every excuse I can think of to not believe a 12 year old over my boyfriend... but- "Having superpowers does not make him a Kryptonian!" There that should-

"I've seen him respond to kryptonite." Kryptonite? But that only affects- "And it seems as though he was responding like a Kryptonian." Acting. "Want to see the video." NOT ACTING! "Therefore there must have been a Kryptonian female for mating, and I think that was his ex-wife, or current wife… or best girl-"

As I go through his words over and over in his head, they play parallel to my memories of Kal. His frequent excuses, his demands for privacy, the distance in our relationship-

"Superboy is his SON!" I say in shock. Kal's (or whatever his name is) been lying to me. "That deadbeat #$%!" Robin seems to have stopped talking. "He lied to me! Said the kid wasn't his! Said he had no son." Has he been trying to avoid all responsibility for a child. What type of person does that? I try to think of any hole in the story of Superboy not being his kid. Who else could father a Kryptonian but the last son of Krypton. "Why doesn't he have all of Kal's superpowers?!" I demanded an explanation from Robin

"Why would he have all of his power if he was his son?" Robin replied almost Socratically.

"Because... genetics." Why did I think that?

"I mean he's only 18, still probably has some kryptonian puberty to go through before he gets them all."

"Why would kryptonian puberty be connected to his powers?"

"Well humans are born about 5-10 pounds and grow to over 100, 60 in your case." Very charming, he's too young for me, and I'm mad about the pig thing, but still charming. "I would assume that Kryptonians also slowly gain their powers." So Superman-and his son (MY STEP-SON?)- had super-puberty... "Besides if he had his powers from conception then wouldn't he be able to explode out of the womb with his superpowered hands like the xenomorphs in Ridley Scott's Alien."

* * *

 **DAILY PLANET, METROPOLIS**

 _Lois Lane POV_

"Besides if he had his powers from birth then wouldn't he be able to explode out of the womb like the xenomorphs in Ridley Scott's Alien."

* * *

 **DAILY PLANET, METROPOLIS**

 _LoXs LXne POV_

"... then wouldn't he be able to explode out of the womb like the xenomorphs in Ridley Scott's Alien."

* * *

 **METROPOLIS**

 _LXXs LXXe POV_

"... wouldn't he be able to explode out of the womb like the xenomorphs ..."

* * *

 **UNKNOWN**

 _LXXX LXXX POV_

"... explode out of the womb ..."

* * *

 **UNKNOWN**

 _POV_

I start to walk down the hallway. It's dark but I can feel where the hallway is. As I get further down the hallway it feels... lighter.

"Ha ha," what was that voice. I look around and see nothing because of the darkness. I try to take another step forward. "Ha" before I could do anything I hear that laughter again. Another look down has a small faint light appears. I kneel down and realize the lights are coming from the eyes. The eyes of a baby. I kneel down and pick up the baby.

"Hey there little guy," I tell the baby. "What are you doing here?"

"Mama."

"Huh"

"Mama."

The baby's red eyes are illuminating more of the room. As I look down towards the baby, I can see it's umbilical cord is still connected to something. As I follow the cord downward I see it get closer... to me. As my eyes look further down I come to what should have been the natural conclusion. There was a hole where my stomach-where my womb- should have been and the umbilical cord went straight into there.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

* * *

 **DAILY PLANET**

 _Robin POV_

"Or maybe Kryptonian wombs have evolved to handle super-powered babies," I think out loud. I turn around to see her reaction. And she DID NOT handle it well. I can tell because she is falling, about to be flat on their face. "$% ^"

I run forward to catch her.

"[SLAM]" she hits her knees on the floor but I prevent her face from becoming a casualty.

"Hey you ok!" I try to communicate with her. "[SNAP] [SNAP]" Well I doubt she knew what I needed to know anyways, but I may have told her stuff Superman didn't want me to tell her. I should probably go grab some kryptonite from Batman. I drag Lane out of the closet.

"HEY SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE!" I yell down the hallway. As I drag her to the writing room of Daily Planet, I'm greeted with stares and speculation about whether I'm real. Eventually some members of the staff approach us to help Lois. Several others have started calling an ambulance.

"Hey kid what happened?", a man yells out of the editors office labeled Perry White.

"She fainted," I respond.

"Well that's obvious, but why-" he's cut off by every TV in the room going to static. "-are you here?" Perry says having lost attention on me. Eventually the static ends when a familiar face appears on screen.

"Eskdjfhsk DSfdssj Almerac skhdfkhs sdd," Maxima states.

"Can I have a remote?" I ask the bewildered staff.

"Why?" a bewildered ginger staffer asks, with implication of why I would not want to watch this.

"To see if she took over a single station or all airwaves" I grab the remote and start changing the channels. "Well -" I remember what Alfred told me. "-that's not good."

"She's on my phone too-"

"And the internet-"

"I can't use my DS-"

She hasn't just taken over the TV but every wireless from of communication.

"-uytdyshshtsd," she continues. "Kshdfs sdsfds shdjste fss-" she shifts to show a photo of LexCorp tower. "-skhdsf jhsdfs. Sdfjskfs. Ddfs. trjefee. Erref." That sounds like a countdown.

"[ **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM** ]"

"[ **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM** ]"

"[ **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM** ]"

"[ **BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM** ]"

Those explosions didn't come from the TV, but the fact that the building was in sight! The rest of the Daily Planet staff looked in horror as their skyline was redrawn. The tower's upper portion looked like a volcano just went off. I started to open a window.

"I better go deal with that, but nice meeting everyone!" I say back flipping out of the window and the building.

* * *

 **Please comment!**


	3. Confrontation

**I don't own Young Justice or any DC comics characters.**

 **Thanks for reading this bizarre story I came up with.**

* * *

16 Hours Later

 **MOUNT JUSTICE**

 _Green Arrow POV_

"Conner you should try harder to knock him off balance," Black Canary tells Superboy as he trains with Aqualad.

Dinah and I were hoping to go out for dinner as soon as training was over for the team, but it seems to have gone over schedule.

"HIYAH", I hear one of them take Dinah's advice, and it's not Conner. Aqualad kicks his leg causing Superboy to tumble out of the ring.

 **"GAME OVER"**

The computer announces the end of training.

"UGH," Superboy complains. "You beat me again!"

"Next time you should take Black Canary's advice," Aqualad responded, offering a hand. "Or I will again." The two of them hit the showers.

"Now that that's over with..." I point out.

"Fine we can try that new restaurant," Dinah responds. "It better not end up like the last one!" she responds sharply.

"How was I supposed to know about that?" I respond defensively.

"I feel like you are the only person who could find a restaurant that would try to eat us."

"Oh come on I'm sure someone else would-" She gives me a stare that casts doubt.

 **"Recognized Superman. 01. Recognized Green Lantern. 01."**

"Oh Clark your-"

"Where is he?!" Superman asks in anger I have never seen radiating from him with a concerned Hal staring at him from behind.

"Where is who-" I try to ask.

"[PSHEWWWWWWW]" Dinah and I duck.

Did he just fire heat vision! Why at us?!

"A-A- Are you alright?" Dinah asks.

"Just answer where he is!" Hal says quickly.

"Where who is?" I ask again. Hal uses his ring to create a hand construct that points behind us. Dinah and I look back to see the R symbol engraved behind us.

"Is this about what happened with Lex?" Dinah asks in a calming voice hoping to calm Superman. "I saw the headline-"

"Where. Is. He?!" Clark said in a slower, angrier voice.

"Why is the cave on fire?!" Barry yells in confusion. All of us turn to the injured Barry walking down the hall with John Stewart. Barry had bandages wrapped around his head and a cast on his left arm. John meanwhile used his construct to help himself float as both of his ankles were broken alongside eight of his ribs.

"What happened to you two?!" Hal asked in concern. Superman meanwhile continued to stare at the R symbol in the wall.

"Apparently his wife," Barry said pointing to Clark.

Dinah and I stare at each other to communicate via mouthing an facial expressions (something we developed over years of dating).

 _His wife!_ Dinah mouths.

 _Lane?_ I respond.

 _Does Lane have super strength?_ she points to their injuries.

 _Is there anyone else?_

 _You should ask him._

 _WE should ask him. PLEASE don't make me do this alone._

 _Somebody needs to deescalate if he gets too angry._

"Who told you that!" Clark said in a fast, insecure voice.

"You don't honestly believe the kid, do you?" John ask Barry.

"Well why would he lie about that?" Barry responds.

"Did Robin tell you that?" Clark asks them, clenching his fist.

 _Did Robin learn Clark is married?_ Dinah asks.

I just shrug back and point to the other three. _Watch._

"Well why would Robin lie about Clark being married," Barry says. "And she referred to you as her love too." Barry points to Clark.

"Who said that!" Clark said in a fearful panic.

 _His LOVE._ I mouth to Dinah.

 _Were we not invited to the wedding?_ Dinah asks me. _If so I blame you._

 _This coming from-_

"Your wife." Barry said coldly.

"Did she do that to you?" Hal, who had been unusually quiet, intervened before Superman, asking Barry and John. "His wife?" Hal points to Clark. Clark turns around and red-eyes him.

"Who is claiming to be my wife!?" He yelled in booming voice that hurt my ears.

"Did you not see the chick that blew up LexCorp?" John said.

"NO! WHO IS SHE?" Clark asked with angry desperation in his voice.

"What did Robin say her name was?" Barry asks John.

"Maxshima," Barry said.

"MAXIMA!" Clark yelled in horror. He then proceeded to grab his head and shake it in a bunch of directions. "UGHHHH" he proceeded to scream into his arms. "WHYYYYYYYYYYY-" he cried into the air.

 _Do you know her?_ I ask Dinah.

 _No, have you every heard of her?_ She asked back.

"You are married to the Queen of Almerac!" Hal exclaims.

"We got beat up by a queen?" Barry says.

"Are you a King?" I ask, Dinah also looks at Clark wondering the same thing.

"NO!" Superman yells. "She thinks we are married." All of us are perplexed by his statement. "Her people have a system where they marry and reproduce with the strongest, typically out of group of 10, thus to increase the power of their family."

"And she thinks your gong to give her a child?" Dinah asks. "With 9 other people?"

"Yes." All of us stare at him, wondering many things.

Does he have a(nother) kid?

Is he planning to have one?

Is he married to 9 other people?

Will he use-

"BUT I DON'T WANT TO!" he says quickly trying to clear things up. "Yet she keeps going around calming, I'm the wife of Kal-El of Krypton, the Superman of Earth." The four of us take a second to process the existence of Clark's stalker.

"Well she convinced Robin that you two are married," Flash said.

"And Robin convinced Lois you two, or ten, were married," Hal said out of nowhere. All of us stare at Hal in curiosity, except for Clark who looks in horror. Barry drops his jaw with a smile, Dinah continued to blink as she though this through, and John seemed to not believe Hal.

"Robin convinced your girlfriend that you were married?" Barry asks.

"I-Uh-I-it-I-" Clark proceeded to have a breakdown.

"And that she'd his eleventh wife," Hal added.

The four of us stare at each other before I end the silence.

"HAHAHAHA," I can't compose myself and fall to the floor.

"Hahaha-ow-haha" Barry couldn't hold it together either and leaned against the wall before falling in laughter.

"Stop it!" Superman said weakly.

"Oliver thats not- Hahahah I'm sorry Clark." Dinah joins us on the floor. "This is just too good."

"John!" Superman begs for an ally with puppy eyes. John is silent for a while before smiling.

"So does she think you're a polygamist or-"

"HAHAHAHA" I'm sure out loud laughter on top of his super-hearing was ringing in his head for a while. I stopped paying attention to him and focused on the possibilities.

"Do you think Bruce planned this?" I ask still smiling.

"No way! This is too random to have been planned." Hal told us.

"Ha he More importantly why would Bats do something like this?" Barry asked.

"I think he's still mad about Nightwing," I suggested. Clark's face lost the ability to do anything as he reconsidered everything that happened up to this point.

Bruce was furious after whatever happened between them, neither will talk about it leading to endless gossip among the league, but Clark knew. Clark had talked Dick into assuming his new superhero identity after Bruce fired him. Bruce viewed Clark as encouraging Dick to ignore the mistakes that got him fired and it ended with Clark saying: "You don't have a monopoly on helping the people in your life and you don't always have good advice." Bruce and Clark patched things up since then, but I wonder if Bruce was plotting to 'help' Lois all this time. Would Bruce mess up Clark's relationship like this just to stick it to him.

 **"Recognized Superman. 01."**

The five of us stared at the computer.

"Where did he go?" I asked. Hal rushed over to check the computer.

"Gotham City," Hal responded.

* * *

16 Hours Earlier

 **LexCorp Headquarters, Metropolis**

 _The Flash POV_

"LANTERN DO YOU HAVE THOSE WORKERS OUT!" I yell to a John Stewart four stories above me. I'm currently trying to contain the fires on the nineteenth floor of the building by creating a wind vortex with my arms.

"MY RING IS SAYING THERE ARE STILL THREE MORE PEOPLE!" Green Lantern said while holding fifteen people on a construct.

"NOT ANYMORE!" A third voice adds. A man, a girl, and a Robin descend via grappling hook.

"ROBIN!" Lantern said in pleasant surprise.

 **"No lifeforms detected in building!"**

"YO FLASH THE THREE OF US NEED TO TALK AFTER THIS!" he tells me. John then begins to descent with everyone on board.

I look off into the distance and see some of the Metropolis Fire Department's helicopters come in to deal with the flames. I speed down to the bottom floor to talk with the cops about what I saw as I wait for the others. After too long they show up, with Lantern removing his construct for all but one person, who he helped move to an ambulance. The people we rescued start walking to the cops while Robin and GL walk towards me, to save time I run over to them.

"Robin what are you doing here," I ask the new boy wonder.

"Am I not allowed to run into a burning building after it was bombed," he told me.

"Is that why your Robin?" John asks, making me curious as well.

"Well I blew up a building and then Bats let me have the costume," he responds casually. John and I give each other a stare.

"What type of building?" I ask.

Before he can respond we hear a angry crowd behind us. The three of us turnaround to see people heckling and throwing stuff at us and the police. I see some items that might hit the cops in the head and use my super speed to move them out of the way before coming back to Robin and GL.

"What do they want?" Robin says annoyed. The three of us get into a range where we can hear their complaints.

"I work online!"

"-can't talk to my-"

"My homework-"

"-game is on-"

"They're complaining about the jam," Robin analyzed. The two of us look at him to explain what this jam is. He points to a giant digital billboard with a red haired woman giving an announcement. "She's sending out that signal in a way that jams every other wireless signal in the city. Internet and cellular is down in most of the city."

"So the people are angry they can't watch tv?" I say pointing to the crowd.

"[BOOOOM]" the flames of a cocktail bomb catch our attention.

"I HAVE A THOUSAND ON THE GAME SHOW ME-" the probable thrower of the cocktail yelled as police surrounded him.

"Is this what people did before TV?" Robin asks us jokingly. The two of us give him a get serious look, to which he throws back a look of disappointment. "So can you contact Superman?"

"We're covering for him," John said. "He's-"

"I know off in space. I overheard Bats earlier in the week. But considering that his wife's responsible, I think we should talk to him about it." Robin points to the red head on the screen.

...

...

What?

Did I miss another wedding!?

Or Lois turning evil and having red hair?

"Can you excuse us for a second?" John asks. I realize that I have not been paying attention for a while.

"I don't think we have time for-" Robin rebuts, but is cut off by a sound-proof construct.

"Did you hear what I heard?"

"That the red head on the screen is Superman's wife," I said. "Yes." The two of us just stare at each other.

"He's not married, is he?" John asks unsure. The Justice League is usually a social club, but somehow we all manage to keep some secret from each other until it explodes out into the open.

"NO! We've known him for years. I think we would know something like that."

"Then why would he think that." John said pointing to Robin. He tries to continue, but I'm distracted by what I see. "I haven't met the new kid yet-"

"John"

"-so are we sure this is Batman's-"

"JOHN," he finally gets my attention and I point behind him to see Robin... conversing with Lex Luthor!

John dissolves his construct and the two of us rush over to combat whatever Luthor is doing.

"Luthor what are you doing here!" I ask him.

"This is his building," Robin answers with sass.

"As the boy says," Luthor responds with trademark calm. "Now this threat to my life you were telling me about."

"What threat to Luthor's life?" John asked.

"His building just exploded," Robin answered for Luthor. "Of course someone is trying to assassinate him." Okay that's... very obvious. "Specifically her!" Robin points to the Lady on the screen.

"Why is she trying to assassinate him?" John asks. I can think of a few reasons why people would want to, but I can't say in this specific situation.

"Because-" he stops randomly for a few seconds. "LANTERN SHIELD!"

" **[BOOOOOOOOM]** " A massive force hits behind me, with a sound loud enough to be mistaken for a stadium. I turn around and see John holding a construct with a spider-web crack in it. Beyond the construct the redhead from the TV had her fists against the construct, which has moved from a half dome to a full dome encompassing Robin, Luthor, his assistaint (who I somehow missed earlier and didn't speak. Can she do Batman's ninja thing?), John, and I.

" **[BOOOOOOOOM]** "

* * *

16 Hours Later

 **GOTHAM CITY**

 _Robin POV_

"Freeze or I'll-" the crook attempted to intimidate me by holding a gun to the cashier's head. Attempted.

"You're out of bullets idiot," I respond. I charge at him, preparing to slam his head onto the checkout table in front of him.

"[CLICK]" he attempts to fire but he already fired the six shots in the revolver at me earlier, so nothing come out.

"Sh-" he attempt to scream but I slam his head into the checkout table in front of him taking the guy out instantly. He falls over onto the floor. "Take him to the-"

"[WOOOOSH]" Something causes the wind to go haywire, wrapping my cape around me.

"What was-" the cashier attempts to ask me. But the two of us look down and see our robber has dissipated. "Where did he go!?" he said in panic. "Maniac-"

"I handed him over to the police-" a voice that I have been waiting for comes behind me.

"[GULP]" He shouldn't be back for another two days.

"-file a report, they'll understand." I turn around and see Superman, arms crossed looking at me. The cashier is just starstruck that Superman is here. "Robin I need you to come with me."

Superman just grabs my shoulder and flies up into the sky at car-like speed.

"Hey! Let go of me!" I fight back. This is probably about telling his girlfriend about his secret child, and secret wife. The last mobster I did that too threatened to feed me to acid. Given what Supes has in the Fortress of Solitude I think he's going to feed me to something else.

"I need to talk with you," Superman said holding back anger. This is definitely about his girlfriend. "But first of all where's Batman and did he put you up to this!"

"[SIGH] He got captured by Catwoman."

"And you can't find him?"

"No I wish I didn't find them," I emphasize the wish.

"Why?" Superman asked not getting the hint.

"They were making out, probably about to-" at this point Superman stopped looking me in the eye. Now would be a perfect time to use the kryptonite knife I got from the Batcave... if I weren't a mile in the air!

* * *

 **METROPOLIS**

16 Hours Earlier

"Son I would appreciate it if you were to bring my assistant to me," Lex Luthor asks me.

"[CLANK]" the two of us look at an alley and see his assistant on a dented car, bleeding from multiple spots, and unconscious.

"If you still want her," I reply to Luthor. I pullout a device from my utility belt which I use to scan Luthor. I then open a holo-screen for Luthor from the device. "Here I need you to read this." Luthor looks at the statement intrigued. "Out loud."

"Are you attempting to create a voice duplicator?" he deduces easily. "Why would you need this?"

"In case Flash and Green Lantern fail to take her down."

"Better start reading," he says as I grapple out of the alley I hid Luthor in.

A few minuets ago, Maxima, the self-proclaimed bride of Superman (with enough Kryptonian abilities to make me think she's his baby mama), showed up to the burning site of LexCorp HQ and tried to attack Lex Luthor. In a scuffle between her and Green Lantern, Flash used his super speed to move Luthor and me to an alley three block away from the fight, then told me to watch over Luthor as I was too inexperienced to deal with a heavy hitter.

Of course I'm going to ignore that advice.

I've dealt with Killer Croc, Bane, and an alien warlord named Mongul. I am totally prepared for this $#!%.

As I get into range of the fight I see the Flash about to have his head smashed into the pavement under Maxima's boot. Instinctively I throw several explosive batarangs at her to distract her.

"[BOOOM]" the first one hits her easily, but she grabs the second one and crushes it in her hand, if it exploded I couldn't hear it. She starts to fly into the air but is cut off by a green fly swatter sending her into a building. I'm able to land in front of the Flash to help him up while Green Lantern shows up behind me.

"You al- right," Green Lantern says with a gap for pain. After taking a look at Flash and Green Lantern's costumes, the damage is at least two bones on each of them with internal bleeding.

"I'm fine but the kid shouldn't be here," Flash says.

"Sorry but it looked like you needed someone with experience," I respond with a smirk.

"[WOOSH]" each of us duck and roll on all sides as a wall is thrown at us. Green Lantern goes in to attack Maxima with a giant Bat, but she emerges from smoke and hit the bat with her fist, nearly shattering his construct instantly.

"Kryptonians still have to breath," I ask Flash who seems puzzled by my question.

"Of course, they need oxygen to-" Flash responds with an over-explanation before I cut him off by giving him a gas mask.

"If you were to create a funnel around her and activate my knockout gas do you think you could make sure it doesn't dispute in the air. I think it will take a higher than normal concentration to bring down a Kryptonian."

"I'd be able to prevent it from spreading out but the funnel, but it would go too high in the air to be effective within a few seconds." He then looks at the mask. "I'd also probably use all the air in here in under a minuet." That masks designed for half an hour! Super-speed requires that much breathing?

"I think Lantern can keep it from going too high, but you'll also need to distract her from destroying his construct." I toss him all eight of my knock-out gas canisters.

"[CRACK]" Green Lantern is thrown through a wall and arrives at our feet.

"RUN!"

Flash zooms off and circles Maxima at a speed which makes a red tornado appear. I rush over to Lantern before Flash activates the knockout gas.

"Lantern create an air-sealed construct around Flash's funnel!" I order him.

"[BOOOM]" Flash set off the knockout gas.

"Why-" he attempts to ask.

"JUST DO IT!" I yell channeling Batman. Green Lantern sees the Batman in me and does as I say.

I activate the infra-red to check on Maxima. My idea seems to be working, as it shows her collapsing onto the ground, but as I check the clock, Flash has been running for 40 of 60 seconds. Maxima is holding out at the 45 second mark and I think Flash is slowing down.

10 seconds left and Maxima still has one arm holding her up.

8 seconds and she's completely on the ground, but wiggling.

5 seconds and Flash is probably at half speed, but thankfully she's stopped moving.

"I don't think Flash can take anymore," Green Lantern tells me.

"I think she's down but maybe we should be safe and knock both of them out with the gas," I tell Lantern as he undoes his construct against my advice. He then just stares at me as Flash rushes over to the two of us.

"[HEAVY BREATHING] I [HEAVY BREATHING] use [HEAVY BREATHING] a lot [HEAVY BREATHING] of air," Flash tells us as he lays on the ground recovering. I stare over and see that Maxima still hasn't moved.

"Do you guys have an inhibitor collar on you?"

"Why would we have that?" Lantern asks.

"I'm not going to judge what you guys are into?" The two of them stare at me as adults normally do when I make a joke not my age. "I'm taking that as a no."

"Its a no for many things you just implied." Flash tells me.

The three of us walk over to her as we ponder what to do with her.

"I say take her to Belle Reve," I suggest.

"Well if she believe herself to be Superman's wife maybe Arkham is a better choice," Flash responds.

"You can't hold aliens in Arkham, it would legitimize some other inmates views." Flash and Green Lantern give me a tell more look. "Do you want people who blame their problems on aliens to be around them?" Their facial expressions show they agree with me.

"Well we need to ask Clark if she actually married him then what to if-," GL starts talking.

"Of course we were married," the three of us are surprised by her voice- "I'll show you the pictures later!"

She had grabbed Flash by the ankle and swung him into the air. GL holds up a construct to try and block her attack. She then swings Flash like a nun-chuck into Green Lantern, who dropped his construct protecting us.

I'm sent several feet to the side as Maxima hits me with the Flash. Looking up, Maxima is beating Green Lantern into the ground WITH the Flash as a human nun-chuck.

 **"BEEP"** My computer informs me that the duplicator is complete.

I was hoping I could use this for something more useful, but I'll have to use it to escape.

As Maxima still beat GL with the Flash I jump behind her and place two devices on her shoulders. She grabs me and throws me into a wall twenty feet away.

"[BOOM]" I activate the tear gas explosive I placed on her shoulder.

"[INHALE] Smells like perfume," Maxima tells me as she drops the unconscious Flash as a weapon.

"Alright bitch," Maxima looks up into the air and sees a floating Lex Luthor.

* * *

 _Lex Luthor POV_

Usually I would enjoy watching the Justice League fail from a safe distance. But considering the woman beating will try to kill me after this, the mood feels off.

When I saw the new Robin Ra's told me about, I was hoping to manipulate the inexperienced view before the League drew an inaccurate picture of me into his memory. Unfortunately this incident has scuttled these plans. I started walking over from that comfortable alley once the threat seemed to have ended. However once I arrived it seems as though this woman was just playing dead, a gambit that payed of as she defeats two of the three (2.5) heroes standing in her way.

I was about to reveal myself and use my trademark charm and diplomacy to see what I could get out of this situation, but it appears a cruder version of myself is floating in the air.

"You want me come and get me," the floating version of myself says. At the same time somebody sneaks up behind me and grabs my mouth. Robin moves his head forward and holds a finger to his lips.

"With pleasure," the assassin flys at the hologram, as it keeps distance from her. A holo-computer tracking her come out of Robin's costume, after a while he lets go of my mouth.

"We're clear for now," Robin tells me.

"Please tell me why she won't question my ability to fly?" I ask Robin, given how much this distraction relies on it.

"She's not familiar with Earth." An alien? And here I thought I was dealing with another rogue employee.

"Why would an alien be trying to kill me?" I ask to see if responds with a Superman related quip. If he does, I know what he thinks of me.

"Some weird coming of age custom." He didn't quip? Or was that just an inside joke. Either way I think I can get something interesting out of the new Boy Wonder.

"How did she get here?"

"Something called the Phantom Zone, an intergalactic travel intermediary." The Phantom Zone is a extra-dimensional prison. But the boy doesn't seem to be that familiar with off-world affairs. "That's it!" The boy then has an idea on his face.

"What?"

"You're one of the ten smartest people in the world right."

"The smartest," I correct him.

"Great I think I know how we can get rid of her!" He runs over to a nearby car.

"[SHATTER]" He breaks the glass on the drivers side of a car.

"Get in!"

"Should we really be stealing a car?" Though mine appears to have be destroyed during the fight.

"Nobody can call the cops... if all wireless communications are down then there is probably wide spread looting," the boy points out while grabbing his face. "#$%^! I'll deal with that later, get in!"

* * *

 **METROPOLIS GENERAL HOSPITAL**

 _Lois Lane POV_

"Ughhh" I moan as I get up. Looking around I tell I'm in the hospital, but how did I get-

Everything comes back to me. Robin, Superboy, and KAL! I grit my teeth a little.

"Lois," Jimmy calls for me. "Are you alright?"

"Just a heart-Headache Jimmy. I look around and see that I'm on a makeshift bed in my work clothes rather than the typical patient clothing. I look around and see people bleeding as they wait for medical treatment. "Jimmy what happened?" This looks more like Gotham than Metropolis.

"Somebody's blocking all wireless communication in the city along with reports of superhuman fighting led to people thinking they can get away with looting."

"Whose blocking-" I wonder if that... that woman Robin mentioned has anything to do with-

"[KCHEWWWWWW]" A flash of light appears outside my window, generating a noticeable sound.

"Jimmy there's our story." I get out of the bed and try to find my shoes.

"Wait Lois shouldn't we wait for-" Jimmy attempts to stop me.

"Somebody to steal out story! NO WAY!"

* * *

 **STAR LABS, METROPOLIS**

30 Minuets Later

"This is where that massive light came from," Jimmy tells me as we get out of the car we... borrowed while no one else was looking. "Are you sure something is happening here-"

"[BOOOOM]" An explosion comes from inside the building, gaining our attention.

"There's your answer," I tell him. The two of us then run into the building.

As we enter we see spider cracks on walls, craters in the floor, and fragments of exploded things spread throughout the building.

"Well whatever happened here is clearly gone-" Jimmy tries to tell me.

 **"[SCREEEEEEEEEECH]"**

An unbearable sound has Jimmy and I unable to stand as we try to cover out ears.

"DAAAAAH!" we scream!

I crawl forward to what I think is the origin.

 **"[SCR** EEeeech]"

The sound comes to an end. As I stand up I see why, the redhead from the TV has Robin by his costume, holding him above the ground in a threatening posture.

"Lois what was-" I use a shush gesture to quiet Jimmy as I observe.

"Well you've been a bad boy," she tells him. "The only reason I haven't punished you more is because my husband is friends with your dad and I'd rather not have him avoid me more" Her husband... THIS IS KAL'S WIFE.

"Maybe your husband maybe your husband and kid would spend more time with you if you weren't an annoying bi-"

"[SLAM]" She throws the boy wonder into the ground and stands over him with her boot.

"How dare you insult the Royal house of Almerac brat?! I am here to help my husband-" I'm sure my teeth grit there a little. "-the champion of your world's future kingdom."

"We aren't in your Kingdom!"

"Then perhaps we have to change that boy!"

"Superboy King of Earth? Doesn't ring!"

"My Superboy will be king of more than that!" Her Superboy!

SHE-She... she... SHE'S HIS MOM! A part of me always though that the kid was Kal's son but... I never thought who the mother could-

"Lois do you know who she is?" Jimmy asks me. I take a deep breath as I consider the evidence Robin presented to me earlier. "Or who her husband is?" I don't know what Jimmy saw but when I turned around his face was mortified.

"LUTHOR NOW!" I'm brought back to reality by Robin's yell.

Luthor is here! What does he have to do with all of this?

"[GROOOOOO]" Some machine activates creating a portal in the room. The portal starts sucking everything in. Jimmy and I hold onto the wall as the force gets stronger, but have to turn away to keep focus on the wall..

"YOU CAN'T SEND ME BACK THERE!" I hear her say in fear. "I'LL BE BACK!"

"AND WHEN YOU DO YOUR SON AND I WILL KICK YOUR #$$!", Robin yells back.

[BOOM] Something explodes but I can't tell what it is. The force continues to go off and I have to hold Jimmy's hand when he lets go of the wall and is almost sucked in.

"[UMMMMMMM]" The machine appears to have been turned off. I no longer feel a force attempting to suck me in.

"Is it ok to go in?" Jimmy asks with his eyes closed.

"I believe it's ok to go in Mr. Olsen," one of the last people (though if my boyfriends wife can show up I may have to rethink the list) I expected to hear said.

"Lex Luthor!" Jimmy and I yell. He simply smiles in amusement. "What are you doing here!"

"Maxima was trying to kill him," Robin interjects. We turn around and see that most of his costume was damaged in almost every spot.

"Who?" Jimmy asks.

"The chick who was jamming the airwaves." Kal and Maxima -El... or Kal-el and Maxim-el or... HIS ADOPTED PARENTS! He still hasn't told me his secret name! Did she take- "YES!" Robin's yell brings me out of my thoughts. "The jammer was on her! Metropolis now has wireless communication!"

"Really Jimmy can you go live!" I ask him.

"Sure I-" Jimmy adds.

"Hold on I need to make a call," Robin interjects. "This is Robin to Justice League, I need emergency medical treatment for two leaguers at the following coordinates, riot control for the following districts of Metropolis, and a investigative team at STAR LABS Metropolis." He goes silent for a while.

"Can we-" I try to ask but Robin just holds up a finger to tell me to be quiet.

"Negative, both of them are down by an alien named Maxima." He's silent again as I realize he's having a conversation.

"No, I couldn't take her down so I threw into another dimension."

"I'm not joking."

"I threw the technology into the portal with an explosive- Hold on I'm getting another call."

"Batman I'm- Wait your where?!"

"No I'm not coming!"

"Why! Do you not remember what happened the last time I showed up to your ex-girlfriends. I don't wanna listen to that."

"I doubt that!"

"Really the one supervillainess you didn't-"

"Well IIIIIIII have to deal with Justice League business."

"Maybe but GL and Flash are down."

"Flash was used to beat GL."

"Like a human nun-chuck."

"I'm in Metropolis."

"Well Alfred thought it would be dangerous."

"Hahahaha! That was my response too! Hold on I need to get back to the JL. Here."

"No Batman's working a case in Gotham. Yeah he's fine with me going on a solo mission doesn't Green Arrow let you."

 _Are we recording this?_ I mouth to Jimmy.

 _He told me not to start._ Jimmy mouthed back as I facepalm. Well I guess I owe the kid a huge favor for keeping me out of- whatever those two were into.

"She must have destroyed the platform. Can you get Kid Flash to run somebody here?"

"I mean you and Donna must not weigh that much."

"Would you rather have me be an #$$?"

"Have them go to Boston, it's closer?"

"Bat's needs my help so I should use the Batmobile to head back to Gotham."

"Well I work for Batman not the League."

"Bye!"

"Okay I gotta-"

"We get it, duty calls," Lex tells him. "I'll answer all of your questions Ms. Lane."

"At least let us take a photo with the heroes of Metropolis," I ask them. "Jimmy take a photo for the front page tomorrow." He looks at me but I signal for him to get on with it. Robin and Luthor start smiling and shaking hands.

"[FLASH]"

"Lois are you sure you want to give Luthor this kind of puff," Jimmy asks me. "What will Superman think?"

"Oh it will make him angry and confused. Well I would hate for Kal-" I crumble some paper in my hands "-to feel like that."

"Gotta go!" Robin says. He leans in to whisper something in my ear. "Can you make sure Superman doesn't come after me?"

"Sure kid."

* * *

 **LOIS LANE'S APARTMENT, METROPOLIS**

16 Hours Later

 _Robin POV_

She said she would handle this!

Now I've been flown from Gotham to Metropolis to deal with this. To be honest I'm not going to care about Superman's private life. The only reason I'm not going to use the kryptonite knife is because I need Supes to take me home. The Metropolis Zeta platform is still bust, and I used the spare Bat-cycle here to get home yesterday, so I guess flying meta-human is my only way back.

"Lois please come out we want to talk," Superman announces triumphantly.

* * *

30 Minutes Later

"Lois," Superman yelled. I just continued to play on my computer.

"I don't think she's here," I whisper at a level that only super-hearing can hear.

"I'm using my x-ray vision."

"This is why she doesn't trust you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Superman asked with insecurity.

"I wouldn't trust somebody who x-ray's me without asking."

"Its... That's... That's not how it works."

"[SIGH] I'm hungry," I complain to him.

"We can eat once this is over."

"[DEEP BREATH] I AM HUNGRY!" I yell.

"What do you expect that to accomplish?" a perplexed Superman asked.

"Well I was about to make dinner soon," Lois adds opening the door. "Why don't you come on in?" I step through the door backwards, smiling victoriously at Superman.

"Loi-" He can't even finish her name before-

"[SLAM]"

* * *

 **Well thanks for reading 16K of what I intended to be one chapter (ch 1-3 was supposed to be one chapter). I have no idea how I wrote so much.**

 **Well thanks for reading this.**


	4. Dinner

**I don't own any Young Justice or DC comics rights.**

* * *

16 Hours Later

 **METROPOLIS**

 _Aqualad POV_

"Kid, Artemis, Zatanna!" I call alpha squad to attention. Kid stops eating his ice-cream sundae (to eat at 8 in the morning), Artemis and Zatanna stop talking to each other. "As you all know, the Oceanmaster's worldwide smuggling operation has eluded us for much of the past year-" I pull up pictures of weapons recovered in Panama, Singapore, and Egypt. "-sending arms to criminal organization, revolutionary movements, and rogue governments around the world."

"So have we finally found bait to catch this fish?" Kid asks through his food.

"Of sorts." I pull up an image of a warehouse and a middle aged man. "This warehouse in Miami has been linked to arms being sent to Biyala, Rhelasia, and Santa Prisca as well as this man, identified as John Stilem. However, his facial recognition matches that of an Atlantean from Posideus called Val'kian."

"So our job is to capture, interrogate, and give any information we get to the Justice League," Artemis adds. "The fun stuff."

"No." I state in a way that grabs their attention. "This is a stakeout mission. Our goal is to find out how they are transporting the arms in and out of the warehouse. Kid, Artemis you two will patrol the streets in civilian wear. Track anyone coming in and out of the warehouse using all methods available. I want to know every building they go into and every person they meet. Zatanna you will check for any mystical energy that may be at play. I'll patrol the waters for an Atlantean presence."

"Got any room for one more?" A voice comes from my side that causes me to step back in surprise. Kid juggles his ice cream and Zatanna and Artemis get into battle formation. Though we all calm down a little as we see Di-Jason standing where the voice came from. "Boo," he states lazily.

"Can you please not do that?" Zatanna ask. "I hate it when you guys do that."

"It's not my fault your deaf." Artemis and Zatanna raise their eyebrows at his response.

"Because that's the problem."

"Please tell me you didn't hack to computer to not announce your arrival," Kid asks. THE COMPUTER DIDN'T ANNOUNCE HIS ARRIVAL! That was a truly awful week when Dick-

"Well I messed with the computer, but not to do that and not by hacking." I am not sure how to feel about that. Robin's presence will be announced by the computer, but he has done something else we have to worry about.

"Then how did you enter the Cave without us knowing," I ask scared of a newer Ninja Technique used by the Bats.

"[YAWN] I slept here last night," he tells us. This creates a puzzled look on our faces. Why Robin would sleep in the (non-bat) cave? "Sausage." He offered holding out a plate of sausage.

"Please!" Wally says using his superspeed to alternate between the plate of sausage Robin had given him and the ice cream from earlier.

"Why were you sleeping here?" Zatanna asks.

"Did the batcave get infested?" Artemis adds.

"Nah I'm hiding," he replies with a sense of enjoyment.

"From who?" I ask.

 **"[BEEP]"**

The computer displayed video of footage of Batman from the Watchtower.

"Robin did you hack the Justice League computer?" Batman said in a stern, demanding voice.

"Nope," he responds with confidence none of us (including Dick) have never had when Batman used the angry Batman voice.

"Then did you block Superman from accessing the Zeta beam system after he entered the Watchtower." That would effectively trap Superman in space.

"Yes." The four of us look at the new boy wonder with surprise at his disrespectful move to Superman.

"Without hacking."

"Green Arrow and Plastic Man have horrible passwords." Robin shrugs. All of a sudden Batman tugs his arm back showing him holding the hand of Wonder Woman with money out. Batman then proceeds to take the money out of her hand. A rather petty display, especially for the Batman.

"Shouldn't have bet against Oliver's stupidity," we hear in the background audio. Batman during this period had kept the same face, but the aura of the conversation seemed to show his amusement.

"Can you explain to me why Superman felt a need to take an Oxygen mask and fly to Mount Justice?" Batman asks, having softened his voice.

"How long ago did he do that?" Robin asked with concern.

"About 10 minuets ago."

"[WHEW] He won't be able to get her for a few hours."

"Four hours, 37 minutes," Batman told his protégé. I don't think Zatanna, Artemis, and KF are catching it, but it seems as though Batman is giving his protégé advice on how to avoid Superman.

"Having a satellite tracking him," Robin says.

"You have your own satellite," Artemis asks. "Did you give him a satellite?"

"So why is Superman doing this?" Batman ignores her question

"Its a long story, part of which I am trying to piece together," Robin says scratching his head.

"Do I want to hear it?"

"Yes, but I don't think Supes wants me to tell you."

"[SIGH] What did you do?" Batman asked exhausted.

"HEY! I didn't do anything. It's his fault his side-hoe is mad at him," Robin responded. The bizarre statement. While I am not the most familiar with slang, particularly the rude ones, but I think Robin has found himself in the middle of a fight between Superman and his girlfriend. "Don't act like you didn't know about it?" Robin told Batman.

"Did you hear what I just heard?" Kid Flash whispered in my ear. Artemis and Zatanna were also asking each other something but I wasn't in range to hear.

"I think so," I whisper back. Even Batman seemed surprised at what Robin said.

"And she has every right to be pissed off at him," Robin continued. "The secrecy, the constant lies, the half-#$$edness of their relationship. I honestly surprised she didn't dump him earlier." At this point I wanted somebody to ask a (few dozen) questions. I am not the most aware of the personal lives of the Justice League so it might be embarrassing to ask: Who is Superman's girlfriend? Why did they break up? How did Robin get in the middle of it? Does the R carved into the mountain with a laser have anything to do this? "He should take some responsibility-"

"I'll talk to him," Batman interjected.

"-for his terrible parenting," Robin ignored and just kept going. Batman gave a nod of approval at that last statement, if I didn't know any better I would say I saw a small smile..

"Meanwhile you should investigate further." Batman then shut of the console. "And just send me the evidence."

"How dumb does he have to be to believe no one knows how to make babies?" Robin ignored his mentor's absence and continued to rant about... something?

"Are you guys understanding him," I ask Artemis and Zatanna. I don't have the best history with relationships, especially after what happened with Raquel and Tula, but it seems as thou-

"It involves Superman, his girlfriend, a breakup, and babies..." That seems like a fork in the road rather than a single path.

"So I'm not the only one missing something."

"No you aren't," Kid Flash, Zatanna, and Artemis replied simultaneously.

"-and he stuffed the dog food she gave him down so-" Superman.. is eating dog food?

"I should take notes," Artemis says at Kid, to a chuckle from Zatanna and I.

"Please don't," Kid begged. "I love food, I don't ever want to be scarred by food." He continues to stuff that sausage down his throat.

 **"Recognized. B13. Robin."**

Did he just ninja away from us? While actively talking? At least Dick doesn't disappear mid-rant. I think I have to give him the speech on how rude that is again.

"Where are you going?" Artemis asks as Robin enters the Zeta platform.

"I forgot to grab a copy of the tape from Ms. Lane," Robin explained.

"What tape?" I ask as he starts to materialize.

"The tape that explains why I castrated Superman," Robin says as the materialization ends.

"Phhhhhhhhhhhew" Kid spits out his ice cream as the rest of us stare at the zeta-tube, wide-eyed and in silence.

"Did you all hear what I heard?" Zatanna broke.

"I don't think we all heard the same thing," I try to deny.

"It sounded like he cut Superman's sausage," Artemis said out loud, as we all judgingly stare at her. "WHAT?! I didn't say it! He did!"

"Yeah but... he had to have been metaphorical," I said, catching their attention. "He can't have actually done it?" The team starts to think. "Right?"

* * *

 _Zatanna Flashback POV_

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The thug falls down with no hope of survival.

"ETATIVEL!" I scream as fast as possible.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" the thug continued to panic despite the fact that he was no longer falling, he was 30 stories in the air.

"Robin why would you throw him off the building!" I ask the new kid.

"Did you not hear me?" he retorted. "I said if he didn't tell me where the weapons were from I'd throw him off the building."

"I didn't think you would actually do it!"

"OKAY OKAY I'LL TALK," a second thug said in panic.

"Your lying." Robin proceeds to throw this man off the building as well!

"ETATIVEL!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The thug continues to scream.

* * *

 _Kid Flash Flashback POV_

"AHHHHHHHHH!" I look around and see everyone screaming in pain, grabbing their stomachs.

 _"Kid Flash, what's going on?"_ Miss Martian asked over the psychic link.

 _"I don't know, one second everyone's chatting and eating at this dinner the next people start screaming in pain!"_ I tell alpha.

 _"You didn't eat the food did you,"_ Robin asked me.

 _"No,"_ I lied.

 _"Well I poisoned the food so that's good."_

 _"YOU DID WHAT!"_

 _"I poisoned the food."_

 _"Why?!"_

 _"You wanted a distraction later."_

 _"I didn't think you would poison a hotel."_

 _"These are a bunch of drug dealing pimps! Why do you care if they get some food poisoning?"_

 _"Their families are here."_

 _"If you live off dirty money, your no better than those who got it."_

 _"You still can't just poison people! This was a stealth mission! How is a bunch of people screaming stealthy!"_

 _"Hold on."_

"Attention visitors!" A British accent says over the speakers in the room. "A chemical weapon appears to have gone off, please stay put as we contain the situation."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Panic engulfs the entire room.

 _"Sorry just had to give that announcement,"_ Robin said _._

 _"Why would you do that?"_ I ask annoyed by all the people running around me.

"[GRUMBLE]" My stomach is about to feel that poison.

 _"We infiltrated a meeting of drug dealers and you don't think we should make these guys miserable?"_

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" people continue to scream in panic.

* * *

 _Aqualad Flashback POV_

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Brick screamed on fire. Literally on fire! Robin and I stand 5 meters away from the burning Brick

"Robin what happened?" I ask.

"I lit him on fire," Robin told me.

"Why?" I ask.

"Why would I try to hurt a supervillain?" he responded sarcastically as he tosses a moldov cocktail at Brick.

"[BOOM]" new flames now cover his face an legs.

"How is this stopping him he is invulnerable?" I ask wondering if Brick is just pretending to be hurt.

"Invulnerability doesn't mean he can not feel anything," Robin reminds me. Brick is trying rolling on the ground desperately. But his weak attempts make him look like a beached whale. "So the flames are setting off his pain receptors."

"Is this not torture!" I say in horror.

"Eh," he sweeps it aside and starts walking away.

"Are you not going to put this out!"

"How? I'm not the water bender." Original.

"So what was your plan after lighting someone on fire?"

"Wait until the flames burn out on their own." I widen my eyes at his willingness to leave someone in this condition. "Fine I'll start carrying anti-fire equipment in my utility belt."

"Can you do something now?"

"I can pee on him."

"AHHHHHHHHHHH" Brick continues to burn.

* * *

 _Artemis Flashback POV_

"AHHHHHHHHH!" The woman with the bomb strapped to her chest screamed.

"Robin can you disarm the bomb," I ask him.

"No its too unique," Robin tells me. _90_ seconds.

"Its too late for her heroes!" Professor Pig said with a sour note on that last word. _80 sec._

Robin grabbed another bomb and trigger. _70 sec._

"What are you-" Robin takes the bomb and straps part of it around his neck and stuffed part of it in his mouth. Robin then walked over to the captured woman. _60 sec._

"Hold this and don't let go," he instructed her. He then started talking to Professor Pig. "That's a dead man switch, if she dies this bomb goes off." He says pointing to the bomb in his mouth. _50 sec._

"Yeer bleffeng," he says through the bomb. _40 sec._

"Why would I do that when the only way to get what I want is to keep it armed?" _30 sec._

"Beceese ye den't kell," he muffled through the bomb. _20 sec._

"Batman doesn't kill," Robin says before getting closer to his face. "And he ain't here." The smile on his face convinces even me. _10 sec._

"[GULP]" Pig then uses his non-cuffed hand to grab a remote and a beep comes out of the bomb around the woman. _1 sec._

And it's disarmed!

"Robin its disarmed!" I tell him joyfully. I go over to help use a knife to remove the vest from her. Robin also walks over. "Are you alright?" I ask a woman on the verge of a breakdown.

"Waaaaa," she cries a bit before going over the hug Robin. "Thank you!"

"I helped too," I mutter but not soft enough for Robin to send a smirk my way.

"I need to take this," Robin says, grabbing the dead man switch.

"[BEEP] [BOOP] [BEEP] [BOOP] [BEEP] [BOOP]" Police sirens.

"Go to the police," I tell the former hostage. "We'll handle this." The woman then walks towards the sirens.

"Deserm the bemb!" Professor Pig asks. Robin just gives him an intense stare, something I only thought Batman could do.

"Robin disarm it."

I'm not sure if he heard me as his hand was fidgeting with the detonator while wearing a serious look.

"ROBIN!"

"Oh please I told you don't kill," Pig bragged.

At this point Robin cracked a smile on his face.

"And I told you," he finally spoke getting down on his knees to look Pig straight in the face. "Batman isn't here."

Those words caused all of time to stop.

I wasn't sure what he was going to do. The confidence on Pig's face disappeared. In that moment the world seemed to consist of the three of us.

Robin's lips moved but I was so concentrated on his hands that I didn't hear what he said, but it caused Pig to beg with his eyes.

Then...

Then...

Then he did it. He threw the dead man switch in toward Pig. If Pig's face wasn't stuffed with the bomb he would have sucked all the oxygen out of the room.

 **"[BOOOOM]"**

The deafening screech in my ears has me instinctively shut my eyes. I couldn't see what had happened. As I start to hear other things I open my eyes to see the room. The first thing I see is that a bomb went off to the right of Robin rather than in front of him. As I look around I see that Professor Pig's horrified face is still intact and a triumphant Robin smiling above him.

"He he he," Robin started to sadistically chuckle. "He he he. It appears I grabbed the wrong detonator."

So he wasn't ever going to kill-

"Let's see if this one works." Robin activates another bomb.

"[BOOM]"

This explosion is less of a surprise for me, so I prepare for it and am able to tell what is happening immediately after the explosion.

"Wrong one again," Robin says joyfully as he picks up another explosive. "Well third times the charm."

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Professor Pig screams.

* * *

 **MOUNT JUSTICE**

 _Zatanna, Kid Flash, Aqualad, and_ _Artemis_ _POV_

HE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN METAPHORICAL!

* * *

16 Hours Earlier

 **LOIS LANE'S BALCONY,** **METROPOLIS**

 _Superman POV_

"You should brown the sausage a bit more," Robin suggests to Lois.

"Is that how your dad does it," Lois asks the boy.

"More like granddad."

This has not gone down as I would have liked. The last thing Robin should learn, from what will probably be remembered as "The time Robin fell for a stalker's propaganda," is that he will get a meal cooked for him.

"So do you want to get to the serious stuff before or after we eat?" Robin asked.

"[THUMP]" I hear Lois's heart beat faster.

"Can't he hear us," Lois says in a softer voice to Robin.

"HE CAN HEAR US NOW!" Robin says in the voice he was probably using before, but because I was preparing for a whisper, it sounded like a speaker to me.

"My point exactly." Based on their footsteps I believe Lois and Robin have moved to her dining room.

"Found it!" Robin claimed in a victorious voice.

"What?"

"The answer to our problem."

 **"[SCREEEEEECH]"**

* * *

 _Lois Lane POV_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" a scream comes from my living room.

"What is that?" I ask.

"Oh yeah this is an apartment where people might care about stuff like that," he says with legitimate revelation. He looks around and picks up a dog toy. "Do you have a dog?"

"I was looking after one a few days ago for a friends." Must have left it here on accident.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Allow me to deal with that," he takes the doggy toy and walks onto the balcony.

"AHHHHHHHHH-" the screaming continues. "-HHHHHHhhhhh-" The screaming softens, I don't think my neighbors will care now, but I can hear it takeover my apartment.

"Sorry but you brought this upon yourself," Robin tells Superman as he drags him by the legs across my living room, having stuffed his mouth with the chew toy and holding a green light in his hand. "Do you have a closet or something where I can put him?" Robin asks me.

"Ahh- In... In the kitchen," I reluctantly replied. Robin continues to drag him across the living room, displacing some of the carpet over Kal's yelling. After opening the closet, he stuffs Superman in there. Superman's legs resist, creating problems for Robin.

"-hhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhh-" What was that rise in volume?

"[SLAM]" Robin slams the closet door and walks over to the sink. Washing his hands of a red liquid that dissipates into the drain.

"Can I put on the TV?" he asks.

"S-S-Sure..." I say weakly, concentrating on the red mixture in my sink.

"Now and episode of Hello Megan!" The TV sounds out the screaming from the kitchen pantry with some old comedy show.

Robin sits down and starts to go through the scrambled eggs and bacon. "I haven't had anything since breakfast! THANK YOU!"

"Your welcome," I reply as I sit down with my own food. "Why are you here?" I forgot to ask that question when Kal first showed up with him.

"Oh," he covers his mouth as he gives his response. "You said he would handle him!" he raged.

"What are you-" Oh yeah... I shouldn't have told him about Robin. "I told him you were involved." I said grabbing my forehead at my mistake.

"Well I was also on the front page," he added, continuing to chew his food. "But I didn't want to be connected to telling you about Superboy." He finished chewing and revealed his mouth. "You could have just said that Maxima told you herself."

"But you told me first and wouldn't he be able to track my heart beat?"

"I don't know, I've seen Bats lie to his face, like that time he-"

"I'm not Batman."

"You could have just not mentioned me and showed him that tape you shot last night." He shouldn't have know about that.

"How did you-"

"Your ginger friend had a camera and you are a reporter." He need not say more. "Anyway, what are you planing to do with him?"

"Jimmy?" I ask with curiosity. "Why does he-"

"No, I'm talking about Superman." He says condescendingly to me. "I assume your going to dump him." I take time to process that suggestion. I'm certainly going to demand the truth: about his kid, about his kid's mom, and about any of his past loves... but...

"Huh." What should I do with him?

"He gets one shot at explaining," I declare clenching my fist. "And I need you to confirm everything he tells me." His eyes widen at that last demand and stop moving the fork in his hand.

"You know... can I get somebody else to do it," he says with concern.

"Why?" I ask. If he didn't have confidence in everything he told me before, should I believe Kal-

"I have to work with him," he states quickly. "Don't get me wrong I'd like to ask him why he was married to a supervillain, but given Bats record with supervillains I'd rather avoid the awkward questions." That's why he want's to leave? But that's not a good enough of an excuse for me. He's already as deep into this as I am. I grab his cheek before pinching it hard to send a clear signal.

"I see your problem, but if you abandon me I'll use my power at the Daily Planet to spread rumors about you that will never get off the internet."

"Do you have any idea what rumors are already on the internet?" he said with confidence.

The two of us engage in a an intense staring contest. I pinch his cheeks harder for an edge, but that just caused him smile more confidently. He blinked casually during the encounter, while I tried to keep my eyes open the entire time, thinking it would intimidate him. Though if I were to blink now I think I would just intimidate myself.

"Your fiery." He finally says. "You ask all the questions and keep Superman on the hot seat and I'll stay." I let go of his cheeks and let out a big breath. I look over and stare at the pantry where if I pay close enough attention I can still hear screams coming out of it.

"Why is he screaming?" I ask for... potential future reference.

"Sonic attack."

"A what?" An attack from where. He pulls out a small box from his utility belt.

"I assume you understand how a dog whistle works."

"Yeah-" A high frequency sound that can only be heard by- Oh.

"Its a more aggressive version of that for Superman." The device must prevent him from hearing what we've been saying. "Do you want me to get him?" Robin asks, having already assumed my answer and gotten up. "I'll give you the device once I'm done."

"Wait!" I call to him as he turns around to my devious smile. "Let me cook him something special first."

* * *

16 Minuets Later

 _Robin POV_

"Now I'm ready," Ms. Lane announced. I took my eyes off the TV to talk directly to her.

"Now do you want to let him out."

"Go ahead."

I walk up to the pantry where I stuffed Superman earlier. I pullout the led sheath that I stored the kryptonite knife earlier. As I open the door I see the man of steel wobble around screaming with handcuffs behind his back and a doggy chew toy in his mouth. Even with the kryptonite here he could easily breakout. Super-strength destroys the floor, jump out of the building, ect. But he probably didn't want to damage what would soon be his (ex?)girlfriends apartment, so this was a once-in-a-lifetime chance.

 **"[CLICK]"**

Superman turns around to stare at me as I hide the camera behind me. I undo the handcuffs before deactivating the sonic weapon. Superman removes the doggy toy from his mouth as I place the kryptonite back in the led container.

"You stabbed me!" he said pointing to the bloodstained part of his shirt. He clearly wanted to hear something from me, but rather than explain to him I turned away before starting to talk.

"Ms. Lane is it okay to stab somebody who forcibly took you to another city."

"Yes," she replied.

"But... you..." Superman continued to stutter at our lack of care, while holding out the blood stained parts of his uniform out of hope that one of us would pay attention.

"Boys sit down." Ms. Lane calls us to the dinner table.

I make sure to be at my plate before Superman takes it. On a square dining table Ms. Lane and Superman sat across from each other, with Superman looking uncomfortably at her and I between the two of them. I've never sat between Bruce and one of his dates for a dinner, and my dad went to jail before I was born, but I feel in the air as though this is what having parents, who are about to divorce feels like.

"Please dig in," Ms. Lane is the first to break the tension. Superman looks at his food before Ms. Lane explains. "I made beans for you." She didn't.

"Thank you Lois." Superman said. He picked up the first spoonful of 'beans' and put them in his mouth. His first chew is one of innocence, the expectation that this food is like all the other meals she had cooked him before. But the instant he closed his mouth his eyes opened and would not close. The taste was probably all his body could focus on, diverting no attention to hearing, sight, or the other senses.

"Your cooking is very tasty Ms. Lane," I say before he could respond. Then, just to mock him, I take some bacon and slowly chew. Piece by piece I make sure to look him in the eye while I eat. He holds the spoon above the food, stuck between trying to eat the food or claiming he was full after one bite.

"Thank you!" Lois said, exaggerating the flattery from my compliment. "I was experimenting with new ingredients." Like dog food.

"I prefer the old ones," Superman mumbled.

"Perhaps you would prefer your wife's cooking," Ms. Lane returns, increasing the tension in the air. Superman now took another bite of the meal Ms. Lane had prepared for him and swallowed it in a single bite. Probably to try and refute that last point. He then placed the spoon down and got up with a face visibly damaged by the poor taste.

"She's not my wife!" Superman says, slamming the table. "She's-"

"SHSUH!" Ms. Lane attempts to silent him.

"She's-"

"SHSUH!"

"She's-"

"SHSUH!" On that last one Superman stays silent. Ms. Lane pulls out a flash drive. "Robin can you play this." I grab the flash drive and plug it into my holo-computer. I recognize the footage as from the end of the incident last night.

* * *

"Well you've been a bad boy," Maxima told me. "The only reason I haven't punished you more is because my husband is friends with your dad and I'd rather not have him avoid me more." Superman looked at the footage with a prepared speech held on his tongue.

"Maybe your husband maybe your husband and kid would spend more time with you if you weren't an annoying bi-" I remember this next part.

"[SLAM]" She dented my armor in eight spots with that throw.

"How dare you insult the Royal house of Almerac brat?! I am here to help my husband-" I look over to see Ms. Lane is gritting her teeth. "-the champion of your world's future kingdom." Superman now looked at the footage.

"We aren't in your Kingdom!"

"Then perhaps we have to change that boy!"

"Superboy King of Earth? Doesn't ring!"

"My Superboy will be king of more than that!" Now Superman looked as though he was rethinking his pre-planned speech.

* * *

Ms. Lane and I turn away from my holo-computer to interrogate Superman with our eyes.

"Why should you believe her over me?" Superman said quickly.

"Maybe because she wasn't HIDING A CHILD FROM ME!" Lois raged.

"He's more like a little brother," Superman tried to argue.

"Just because you had a kid in your teen's, doesn't make him a sibling," I respond. Surprisingly Ms. Lane had a more dramatic response. I don't think she did the math of a 30's man and a 18 year old kid earlier.

"Has he been raised by his grandparents this whole time?" Ms. Lane asked.

"My parents died on Krypton," Superman declared hoping to avoid this conversation.

"The people who raised you," Ms. Lane added. Superman didn't know that I told her about his adopted parents. Right now he is probably trying to determine what she does and does not know. I take a bite out of the scrambled eggs to hide what I'm saying.

"She knows about the farmers," I whisper while eating. In my peripheral vision, Superman starts biting his lip.

"No..." he says softly.

"Then, I'm going to assume his mom-your wife-raised him."

"First of all we were never married!" Superman declared standing up and crossing his arms in an attempt to display dominance. As the two of us continue eating his form breaks and he sits back down.

"Robin can you present evidence that he is married." The two of them stare at me, hope that I would help their case in their eyes.

"It would take me a while," I reply.

"We have all day." Ms. Lane drinks apple juice in a way that I have only seen a (supposedly) victorious villain do. Superman meanwhile treated my goal with skepticism.

"Perhaps I should have called Superboy here," I mutter, not bothering to hide what I said to Ms. Lane. As I log into my computer, I realize the Pandora's box I just opened, and smiled.

"Perhaps YOU-" Ms. Lane points to Superman. "-should have invited your son to meet me."

"He's-" Superman feebly responded. I was checking for evidence, but I was more interested in this conversation.

"At some point in the past three years!" With the new clarity as to why she's angry Superman took a second to reconsider what he was going to say.

"That wouldn't have been possible."

"Why? Did his supervillian parent have custody?"

"Um... Sort of..."

"So you're kid has been living with her."

"She's not my... No he hasn't been living with her!"

"So he's been living with you!"

"No he hasn't."

"Does he live alone?"

"No he-"

"I'm not talking to you."

The attention suddenly returns to me.

"Robin!"

"Superboy? He-" my computer scan catches my attention. "-lives-" I slow all my words as I struggle to decide what to do with the photos before me. "-in a-" I shut down my computer because I probably shouldn't look anymore. "-cave."

The two of them seemed to be studying my recent reaction.

Ms. Lane held out her hands as though she was holding something and slowly moving them up and down, as though she was pondering two different questions. Superman meanwhile seemed to be the most lost as he was counting something with his fingers.

"Did you find the evidence?" Ms. Lane finally asked.

"I-I think so," I respond with uncertainty.

"What are you talking about?" Superman responded with anger.

"I don't want to answer that!" I say quickly, placing my hand on the kryptonite knife.

"EXPLAIN!" both of them yell.

"IIIIIIIIIII-" I continue to think about my options as they pressure me with their eyes. "-found her nudes." I state plainly. The air tension was dissolved and replaced with mixed emotions that masked what we were each thinking.

...

...

...

"Her?" they both ask.

"[DEEP BREATH] Maxima!" I respond with every anti-Superman weapon Bruce had ever developed ready. Lois jaw dropped and Superman looked everywhere as definitive feelings took a hold.

"Where?" Superman asked with more confusion than anger.

"On the Fortress of Solitude's computer." Where else did he think I would get it?

"When did you get access to the computer?" Superman asked.

"You gave HIM access to your computer?" Ms. Lane asked offended.

"During the Mongul incident I tried to contact the League, but the jammers stopped me. However, the system I used ended up sending remote control the Batcave after the incident and I just never gave it up."

"You hacked my computer."

"You took him to your private fortress!" Ms. Lane seemed more offended at that.

"Yeah, what did you think it was his sex cabin or something?" I ask Ms. Lane, to the (ex?)couple's blushing. "Of course the JL knows about it."

"Back to the nudes," Ms. Lane said awkwardly before giving Superman a death-stare. "Show me." I take a long pause to assess the situation while Superman ponders everything that lead to this. "Show me!"

"I'm not allowed to give out pornographic content," I reply. "Not after the last time." That last part visibly confused them.

"Were you explicitly told?" Superman asked.

"What did you do?" Ms. Lane asked simultaneously. "Accidentally release a sex-tape to the internet."

"Don't be ridiculous," I dismiss. "I did it intentionally," I say pridefully. The two of them take a step back and look at me, creating a new focus. Rather than answer I attempt to return to the old conversation. "He however is held by no such rule." Ms. Lane returned to death-staring Superman.

"Why did you have them?" I'm not sure if it was Ms. Lane's stare or him trying to remember why those photos were on his computer, but Superman considered every action that brought him to this point.

"They were from her home world," Superman finally responded.

"I asked WHY not WHERE!"

"The upper-class of her world walk around... in that state to display their beauty." Lois an I look at him with disbelief and a feeling of insult.

"That sound like something from a comic book desperately trying to appeal to a male audience," I tell him. Though that is a more creative lie than most cheaters I've seen.

"Do you honestly expect us to believe that?" Ms. Lane adds.

"It's the truth!" he states very defensively. "Those photos were sent to me by the Green Lantern Corp."

"That's a very fancy porn delivery service," I add.

"It was for research!" These are some really creative excuses. I am glad I stayed and listened to what he could some up with.

"You expect us to believe Superboy's mom is a nudist?" Ms. Lane adds. "Is that what you wanted me to do?"

"She's not his mom!" Superman attempts to deny while ignoring the other question. Ms. Lane and I give each other a look in which we silently agree to continue to push him, just to see where he goes.

"Superboy comes from half your DNA. Right," Lois asks.

"Welll... that's... mostly accurate..." Superman said with a voice that clearly had more.

"So if the chick from space, with kryptonian-like powers, claiming to be your wife isn't Superboy's mom-" I ask humorously. "-who is?"

"He doesn't have a mom." The two of us are taken back for a second as we contemplate how to follow.

"Do you reproduce asexually?" I ask him.

"No," he said, unsure of himself for a second.

"Does he have both pairs down there?" I ask Ms. Lane.

"No," they both respond, but Superman more forcefully and Ms. Lane casually.

"Then where did the other half of Superboy's DNA come from?" Ms. Lane asks. Superman spent a significant amount of time trying to come up with an answer.

"Lex Luthor."

Ms. Lane and I give him look that questions his judgement. Of all the lies you could tried: a random girl, someone who died, or even Wonder Woman... he states Lex Luthor. I want to see the creativity of an athlete caught doping. He had it earlier with she's a nudist.

"Do you think we're-" I attempt to ask before Ms. Lane cut me off.

"Do you think we are %#!$ing idiots!?" Ms. Lane yelled at him.

"No-" he tried to reply.

"Can you spontaneously change genders like a-" I start asking.

"NO!"

"I'm done with this!" Ms. Lane states and starts walking to the kitchen.

"Lois I can-"

"WHAT?! Can you explain to me how you hid your son from me for all these years! Or your wife! Or-" This is probably going to end soon, so I should start ninja-ing away.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading everyone! Let me know how you feel in the comments/like/follow.**

 **Also I've written 23K so far for what was supposed to be a 5K chapter in my other story which I have like 20K words for but haven't published. Did not actually expect to be able write this much.**

 **Well I think I'm going to publish for that story before I finish this story, but I see two or three more chapters and maybe an epilogue, but I also expected to do all of this story in a two shot so I'm bad at predicting.**

 **Expect Conner to actually show up and not just be vaguely referenced in the fight between Lois and Clark.**


	5. My Truth

**I'm back, did not wait 6 months to update like my other story. I think I'll be able to get through this in two more** **chapters, but I do want to finish this. I have other stuff I want to write. Mainly a Robin (Tim Drake) vs Wonder Girl (Cassie Sandsmark) story (with other Bat/Wonder characters and more drama than comedy).**

* * *

16 Hours Later

 **MOUNT JUSTICE**

 _Nightwing POV_

"So why are ya training me right now?" Raquel asks me, wearing her costume.

"Don't think you can rely on your powers to bail you out," I reply, wearing streetwear. "Besides, traditional combat skills tend to compliment super powers."

"Yes but why are YOU teaching me? You don't seem to be the teacher type."

"What type do you want me to be?" I ask suggestively.

"The type that answers my questions," Raquel replys, adding a punch that reached out to my heart to start the training exercise. Of course she's not faster than me and I catch her fist with my hands.

"I thought we could try and get a little bit closer." I use my leg to sweep Raquel off her feet, allowing her to fall directly into my arms.

"How close do ya want to get pretty boy?" she asks directly into my eyes.

 **"Recognized Superman. 01."**

The two of us quickly separate and stand formally in front of the Zeta-tube.

"Nightwing you're here!" Superman notices ecstatically.

"Yeah I'm-" before I can explain to Superman that I'm busy but he grabs my solders.

"PLEASE HELP ME," the Man of Steel cries, getting on his own knees and dragging me down with him. "I NEEEEEEDDDDDD YYYYOOOOUUUUUUU-"

"I'll- I think I'm gonna let ya deal with this," Raquel tells me as she walks backwards, eyes focused on the begging Superman.

I almost ask her to stay, but the tears coming out of Superman leaves me speechless. What a way to get *#*% blocked.

"What do-" I try to ask.

"PLEASSSEEEE-" he moans.

"I need to-"

"AWWAAAAWAWAWA-"

"OKAY I'LL HELP!" I yell in the ear of the Man of Steel. His super-hearing clearly shook him as he was jittery before standing up. "What do you need?"

"Its Robin? [sniff]" he admits. Oh boy. What the %$#^ did he do? I should get away from this radioactive dumpster as fast as I can. Maybe Raquel and I can get some lunch.

"Supes... Can you ask Batman about-" I try to wiggle my way out of both his grip and this conversation.

"NO!" Superman's paranoia responded. "Bruce can NEVER find out about this! NEVER!"

"If it's that bad you should-"

"NEVER" Superman's eyes widened so far I'm surprised they hadn't fallen out of his head, he gripped my arms in a way that radiated insecurity, and shook so violently I thought an earthquake was going on.

"[SIGH] Relax I'll never tell," I assure Superman. Superman then let go of me and allowed me to create some space between us. "Now tell me what happened."

"Robin came to Metropolis-"

"I saw." I cut off the Man of Steel before he can complete his story. "He and Luthor 'saved the city.'" I mocked Luthor and Jason.

"That's only part of the problem," he quickly added. Superman looked around, facial ticks at every turn, and ultimately . "He met my girlfriend."

"Lois," I reply quickly. Superman froze up. "We all know about Lois." The League's members tend to be quite private with their relationships... and that tends to create a lot of gossip. Some is true, some is false, some... will be determined later. "What did he do?"

"[DEEP BREATH] He convinced Lois that I'm a polygamist, married to a supervillain, with illegitimate children."

"Well that- WAIT! WHAT?"

Jason did-

Who would Superman even be-

Who are the-

"I don't believe you." I tell the figure before me, whom looks at the ground depressed.

"I need your help to stitch my relationship back together. I don't know how he did it-"

"No as in I don't believe you are Superman," I tell the impostor as I reach into my belt. "Do you really think I'm going to fall for something like this?" I ask focusing on the cameras recording this joke.

"Nightwing, I wish this was a joke, but I need your help!" he begs me. Alright Jason or whoever is behind this, you want to continue playing this game lets see you plug these holes.

"Prove it!" I challenge the 'Superman' on his knees before me. "Tell me are you a polygamist, married to a-"

"NO!" No hesitation. If this situation wasn't so ridiculous then I would believe that he is genuinely insulted that I would imply this. If only.

"To all of it?" I seek confirmation.

"Of course!" he answers before thinking. This is the critical judgement, if he takes it back that means there is a hole in his story- "Well..." AHA! I've got you now Ja- "She thinks Superboy is my illegitimate child by the supervillain." Okay that is a good excuse. Superboy has more of a little brother relationship with Superman, but that's kind of Superman's fault that their relationship isn't deeper. And the public doesn't know Superboy's origin. This impostor clearly has great knowledge of our personal relationships, Jason's been on the Team for a while now, but others could be responsible for sending... this. I'll look for more clues.

"Alright then. Next proof. Why does Lois believe Robin over you?"

"I don't know." 'Superman' admitted. "She just... Something happened and she believes him more than me."

"You expect me to believe that Superman has an untrusting relationship with his girlfriend." The 'Superman' considers his options. "I've never met her, but I doubt the most trusted person in the world, would have his relationship that could be destroyed by an 11 year old." 'Superman' takes my words very personally as he is visually insulted.

"I-I-I-" The stuttering fool tried to explain this plot hole. "You have to believe me."

"Why?" I ask him. I pull out my kryptonite just to see how far this impostor is willing to go. The impostor looks shocked and feign pain as he falls to the ground. "Oh yes, please act so I can nominate you for a golden globe."

"Nightwing..." the impostor can't speak easily as he needs to feign pain. "-please... stop."

"Yeah you can complain all you want, but I don't believe you're Superman."

"Whhhhyyyyy..."

"Because you're cover story was too dumb. I'd believe that one of Batman's girlfriends would fall for something like this because of his failure in relationships, but Superman? Superman's girlfriend believes he's a super villain banging, multi-marrying, illegitimate baby having #!^% ." Aw come on. Has Jason gotten me into using my own name as an insult? "I refuse to believe that Superman has a more insecure relationship that any of Batman." The impostor was visibly hurt by my insult, probably more than what the kryptonite would do to the actual Superman.

"I'm... I'm-"

"If your relationship has this level of insecurity, what makes you think it can be fixed. If your relationship has this level of insecurity, then you deserve what Robin did to you." Why am I wasting time here? This is probably some bad prank Jason wanted to pull to try and #*#% block me again. Bruce probably ordered him to do it after what happened a few nights ago.

I walk away from the moaning body in the center of the room towards the Zeta-Tube and set coordinates for Bludhaven. The moaning body followed me. Fine Jason, I'll continue to insult this fictional Superman you created.

"You wanna know what I think," I ask the moaning impostor. "Its not going to be stitched back, its not going to grow back naturally either. Robin might have not have asked her to break it off, but Lois was right to take a knife to it."

 **"Recognized Nightwing. B01."**

* * *

Two Minuets Earlier

 _Kid Flash POV_

"I still have fish bites in places I shouldn't," I complain to Kaldur. A simple stakeout turned into a fight with one of the big bads of the Light, The Oceanmaster. Apparently he can talk to marine life and the fish were spying on us. THE FISH WERE SPYING ON US. The guy got the drop on us and almost sank Miami. While I went for a swim, the Oceanmaster sent the fish to eat me! I AM NOT AN EDIBLE! I guess I should be glad there wasn't a shark anywhere near. "Couldn't you talk them out of trying to eat me?"

"I only know of King Orin and Prince Orm who can command Marine life," Kaldur replys. "Its not magic its genetic, so I don't even have the potential."

"Wally why didn't you eat the fish first?" Artemis asks jokingly. "Use that super-metabolism."

"I prefer fried fish to sushi," I explain to babe. "Hard to deep fry in the ocean too."

"Actually Atlantean restaurants have a lot of deep fried food," Kaldur told us.

"Really!" Zatanna was intrigued. "I've never had Atlantean food before. Do you think you can make some?"

"Unfortunately, cooking was not one of my classes at the Conservatory of Sorcery."

"I need a shower," I declare, clawing at the fish marks under my costume.

"And a rabies shot," babe informs me. "Don't touch me before you get one."

"I don't think you can get rabies from fish," I reply giving Kaldur a look. Kaldur roles his eyes at another fish question.

"Who said it was about the fish?" Artemis mocked.

"Are you saying I'm a dog?" I ask proudly.

"You're a poodle," she fired at me.

"Guys," Zatanna told us.

"What makes me a poodle? I feel great in your lap," I ask her. Artemis smiles at my boasting.

"Kid, Artemis be quiet," Kaldur said in mission voice. I quickly hit my suit and transition to stealth mode. Artemis crouches and leans up against a wall with Zatanna. I zoom over to the other side to be with Kaldur. All four of us are looking into the mission room.

"What are we-" I ask softly before being silenced by the sight before me.

"...then you deserve what Robin did to you!" Nightwing yelled as he stood over a collapsing Superman with a kryptonite light cast over him. The Man of Steel rolled on the ground and moaned in the pain caused by kryptonite. Nightwing walked towards the Zeta-Tube as Superman crawled on the floor. "You wanna know what I think," Nightwing ask the moaning impostor. "Its not going to be stitched back on and its not going to grow back naturally."

Whats not going to grow back naturally? Is this a metaphor? Or a tree, a plant, a limb-

A limb...

Noooo...

Could he have physically-

I don't even what to think about that.

He was being metaphorical after all... Right? I look over and can tell by the looks on their faces that the others are thinking the same thing.

"Robin might have not have asked her to break it off, but Lois was right to take a knife to it."

 **"Recognized Nightwing. B01."**

Superman gets up unbalanced and flys to the Zeta-Tube.

 **"Recognized Superman. 01."**

"Did we hear that?" Zatanna asks, confused.

"I think we have to assume the worst," I add scared. The four of us slowly walk to mission room to contemplate what happened.

"I don't believe it," Kaldur stated confidently.

"What don't you believe?" Artemis asks. "That Robin could do... that or that he would do that?"

"Both."

"We're talking about ROBIN 2.0 right.," I remind him. "Edgy, bombastic, and morally ambiguous."

"While I agree that Robin has demonstrated a..." Kaldur stops to find his words. "...preference for the dramatic and a lack of respect for authority." By dramatic I assume he means NEAR-LETHAL! "But I think even he wouldn't... cut there... at least without reason."

"Is there a reason besides sadism someone would do... that."

"Maybe they were really mad at their boyfriend," my babe did not say as Zatanna used her magic to imitate Artemis's voice.

"How would he physically do it?" Zatanna asked in her normal voice.

"That's a weird question," real-Artemis responded. "I know why I'm interested-" That's fake-Artemis. "-why are you?"

"Because if Robin can't do it, then we know he didn't do it," Zatanna deduced.

"I'm sure Robin deserves better logic," Kaldur adds. "And on top of that, Nightwing seems to back him as well." Why does Nightwing-

"Hello Megan!" Artemis said.

"Oh yeah. Those two hate being around each other but can agree to..." I add.

"See. If Nightwing agrees with 'Batman's newest pawn.' We should trust both of them." The four of us look at each other, with all but Kaldur very concerned.

"Just incase-" babe starts to suggest.

* * *

 **HAPPY HARBOR BANK**

 _Superboy POV_

"Are you going to tell me to freeze?" Killer Frost asks as she shoots an ice beam at me. I easily jump out of the way.

"I'm gonna ask you to cool down," I quip... I've been training for my quips.

"Take your own advice," Killer Frost suggests as she fires more ice beams. I jump behind a car to block her shots. I can't see through her ice well, but its clear she's trying to freeze the ground bellow her so she can get high ground. Just as she's able to see me I jump to the left to avoid her gaze.

"Mind telling me why you are here," I ask Frost. I have to use my arm to block one of her ice beams. Its better for me if the ice hits my arm rather than chest because I can slam my arm against something and have the ice break. But if I can't stretch it's more problematic.

"I like the view of the bank," Killer Frost responds, rising into the sky as her column kept getting higher and higher. "Now quit ruining my day." She fires more ice beams while rising higher and higher. Now is probably a good time to end that.

I rush over to the base of the column she is standing on.

"What are you-" she tries to ask before I hit the bottom of the column, shattering part of it. She loses her balance and shoots an ice beam into the ocean. "STOP-"

"[SMASH]" I destroy the entire column, allowing it to fall into the ocean. The falling Killer Frost makes a slide that allows her to avoid directly hitting the ground. It doesn't stop her from sliding directly into a wall, but she's not dead. She struggles to get up as I walk over to arrest her.

Just as I'm a foot away, she spins around and is able to freeze everything below my neck. I'm stuck as my muscles are frozen.

"What's wrong dance partner, cold feet?" I grit my teeth at her as she reaches out grabbing my face, covering my eyes, and preparing her blast.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH-" That scream wasn't mine. Killer Frost removes her hand and I watch her grip her lower abdominal. "You brat-" A water like liquid is splashed across her face. "AHHHHHHH-" she continues screaming as she grabs her face as if to claw the water off. After clawing at it she takes drastic measures and freezes her own body, entrapping herself in a frozen block. Why did she just surrender when I was frozen in a block of ice?

"We'll that was easy," my head jerks to the right to see Robin standing next to my frozen body with a cup of Starbucks. "How do you want to get out of that?" he asked me chalantly.

"Robin!" I'm shocked both that he appeared using the ninja thing. How can I not hear him with super-hearing?

"No I'm Jason Todd," he replied.

"Who?" I ask, feeling I've heard that name before.

"Bruce Wayne's kid." Why would I know about Bruce Wayne's kid? I guess the kid must be famous in Gotham or something. "Now how do you want me to get you out of there?" Better to talk to him while not in a block of ice.

"Oh yeah, um... Do you have a flamethrower?" Robin reaches into his utility belt and pulls out a spray canister.

"[SCHHHHEEEEWWWW]" The canister turns into a mini-flamethrower, but the flames don't aim at the ice yet.

"Is this too hot?" he asks.

"Uhh, Invulnerable," I reply condesendingly.

"So was Brick," he reminded me. Robin re-aims the flamethrower at the ice around my body and it melts off within a minuet. Once I can move my right arm I'm able to flex my muscles and break out.

"Thanks!" I tell Robin. Robin points to his R-emblem.

"You've got some-" he tells me. I look down and see that part of my shirt on fire. I take my hand and crush the flame with my hand.

"Another shirt ruined," I muttered. I look back at Killer Frost's frozen body, before seeing a Starbucks in Robin's hand. "Is her weakness coffee?" I ask him, confused on what he did to her.

"What?" he took a second to look at the cup in his hand. "Oh, this wasn't coffee."

"Yeah I figured-"

"I just boiled some water and needed something to hold it in." My eyes widened at his suggestion.

"You-You threw boiling water... on her face..." That's not really a weakness.

"Yes," he casually explained, throwing the Starbucks cup into a nearby trashcan, bouncing it off a mailbox to get it in.

"Why?" I ask him.

"Why am I here?" He echoed back his interpretation. That too, but I'm interested in why he felt the need to grab boiling water rather than knockout gas, poison darts, or a Bat-knockout device from his utility belt. "I feel like I should break this news to you before Superman."

"Before Superman..." Why couldn't (doesn't want?) Superman tell me?

"He and his girlfriend broke up."

...

...

He had a girlfriend? I mean I assumed he would date somebody, but its not like I needed to know every girl he went out with.

"That's the response I expected," Robin told me. "She didn't know about you either if you were wondering." Well... I guess Clark doesn't legally have a kid, so it would be awkward to explain. "I don't understand how you don't give someone your secret identity after three years of dating."

"HE HAD A GIRLFRIEND FOR THREE YEARS!" I knew he had a job, but I thought he was Superman most of the time. What else does he do when he's not Superman?

"Yeah, like... long-term commitment. Why do you think I would tell you about a one-night-stand? No! This was a serious relationship." Yeah, I doubt he would only have come here if it wasn't serious.

"Then... " I might have had a step-mother. "I guess I feel bad for him."

"Well don't, she deserved to dump him." Robin cruelly spat. What did Superman do to piss Robin off?

"I..." Why does he seem to know so much about Superman's girlfriend. "Do-Do you know why they broke up?" I asked, curious to know more about Superman.

"He hid his secret id, parents, and son from her. How do you think that would end?"

"He hid his parents?" Why would he not want her to met Ma and Pa? Did this go poorly

"Well the entire world believes Superman's parents died on krypton."

"Yeah but surely Clark's friends know about Ma and Pa Kent."

"Ah you seem to be confused," Robin lectured. "She dated Superman, not the farm boy."

"Whats the difference?" I ask, unsure what he means.

"She dated Superman, who she didn't think had a secret identity." Robin clarified.

"Oh." Thats... "Who would want to date somebody in a spandex-suit all time?"

"Have you heard of furries?"

"I... I don't think I want to." I tremble a little bit knowing Robin's knowledge of the dark arts.

"Well, they exist." Robin thankfully kept it simple. "Anyways, after watching their relationship be spliced with a katana. I figured you'd be interested."

"You watched their relationship explode?"

"More like sliced, but yeah I was having dinner with them-" He had dinner with them! "You alright?" He asked me. Must have done something after he told me that.

"I'm fine!" I fire back. "Never, got invited to a family dinner." I mutter.

"Maybe for the best. I mean inviting a secret son to dinner." Robin has me imagine. "Would be more awkward than dinner with MM and your parents."

"I think any dinner with Luthor and Superman is awkward." Robin takes great interest in what I said.

"Why would Luthor be at this dinner?" He asked.

"Because he's my other dad," I'm forced to explain. Robin looks like he was told the Earth is flat. "Do you not know I'm a clone?" His facial expressions tell me yes.

"You're a clone... Of Luthor and Superman."

"Yeah, I'm about a year old."

"[RING]" I pullout my phone.

* * *

Megan Morse: Conner are you missing history?

Megan Morse: Class began 20 mins ago

* * *

"I gotta go soon!" I quickly say, jumping towards the school.

"%$#^!" Robin exclaimed as I flew away.

* * *

16 Minuets Later

 **HANGER, MOUNT JUSTICE**

 _Artemis POV_

 **"Recognized Robin. B13."**

"GRAB HIM!" Zatanna and I rush towards him but slower than Wally who had already run three circles around Robin by the time we put out first foot down and Kaldur moved his arms to try and get us to stop.

"Hold on-" Kaldur attempted to say but Wally had already wrapped Robin's cape around his head. Despite the limited vision, Robin managed to grab Wally's neck and touch one of his batrangs to Wally's neck.

"Alright do you %$#^ers want me to peel this baby's face off!" Robin threatened, as a trail of blood colored Wally's clothes.

"MRASID!" Zatanna cast, flicking the batrang out of Robin's hand. As I rush over to restrain Robin, Wally gets up quickly to help me. The two of us each takes a side to restrain while he tries to wiggle his way out. Robin tries to kick me from his position but I'm able block him. Wally on the other hand...

"[WHAM]" he goes down with a bloody nose. Kaldur on the other hand is staring deep into his palm as he wonders how this decayed so fast. Robin is able to use his free hand to rip the cape off his face and stare at us unsure what we are doing.

"NIARTSER!" Zatanna cast, the free cape wrapped both of his hands and dragged him to the ground, arching his back. He does make eye contact with the three of us not staring into their palm.

"What the %$#^ is going on?!" Robin asked angrily.

"Don't swear," Flash- FLASH! The three of us who attacked Robin stare in horror at the Flash, Green Arrow, and Black Canary, while Kaldur looks like he's about to apologize for our conduct. "But what are you kids doing?"

"We-We... We are- Ummmm-" Wally covers us amazingly.

"We are trying to have and orgy," Robin threw out.

"That-That's what we are trying to do!" Wally backed up. I don't know what I should focus on. The fact that Wally was desperate enough for an excuse that he tried to defend that, or that Robin could trick Wally into backing that up. Meanwhile, GA was chuckling at Wally's idiocy, Flash stared at his sidekick in disappointment, Aqualad focused his disappointment on Wally, and Black Canary was altering between the two.

"Wally wanted BDSM," Robin trys to see how far he can-

"I did!" Wally quickly embarrassed himself, unable to look at anyone. I stare upon something I never thought I would witness, Wally using all of his strength to stop talking! His lips held together by teeth biting down on his lips.

This allowed GA to mouth: _Do more. MORE. Get him to admit things-_ to the Boy Wonder. BC promptly hits him.

"And he's hogging-" Robin attempts to continue.

"Robin quit embarrassing Wally," Black Canary interrupted. "And explain what's going on."

"I came here to take Donna's lasso then they started attacking me," Robin explained. Wait why did he need Donna's lasso? The three adults seemed to have a conversation with their eyes before BC asks her next question.

"Why did you guys attack him?" The three of us stay silent while Kaldur didn't speak because he wanted one of us who attacked to explain. After a long silence, Kaldur stepped in.

"We were concerned about what he did to Superman," Kaldur explained. "These three got a bit... eccentric." Kaldur made sure that he separated himself from us, probably hoping we would be disciplined for our actions.

"You guy's shouldn't have attacked Robin," GA starts the discipline speech. "Superman totally deserved what happened to him." Wait WHAT?! Do they know what Robin did to Superman? BC and Flash seemed to be chuckling.

"Come on Ollie he- HA- he- Ha-" BC holds her breath to control her laughter. "Okay I guess if Lois agreed, then yeah he deserved it."

"You-" Wally stuttered. "You-You people actually agree with what he did." The three adults check each other's faces for assurance.

"Yeah Superman needed to be humbled," Flash added. "Robin I assume this was because of his secret." Is this a humbling attempt? What... What would they do to me? Would they-

"Partially because of his secret id," Robin explained, having undone the magic restraints. "But its more because she didn't like him having kids she didn't know about." Uhhhhhhhhhhh... Did Superman have an affair? That produced kids! Maybe he did deserve what Robin did to him. "But to be blunt this was inevitably going to happen." At this point the Wally, Zee, Kaldur, and I are processing what questions to ask.

"Robin maybe you can tell us more about what you did," Kaldur asks.

"What about how I helped castrated Superman?" Robin proudly asked. All three of the adults looked amused, while the four of us were concerned at their reaction.

"I bet it felt amazing," Oliver declared. "To watch Superman be interrogated by Lois's death stares."

"Yeah I thought she was going to take a kryptonite knife and stab him like Ceaser," Robin describes. Who is Lois? Superman's girlfriend (mistress)? "But she use a few, memorable cuts that left him mumbling on the ground, begging for mercy."

"Not the only way he can't get up," Dinah chuckled.

"Dinah don't you think your not taking the gravity of the situation seriously," Flash added. "I mean Robin took an axe to Superman's most intimate feature of his life, we should be making even better jokes." AN AXE! Isn't that excessive.

"Don't be ridiculous. I used surgical instruments to rip it out part by part," Robin sadistically declared. "Every part connected to the foundation was taken off piece by piece." We have to be missing something, I highly doubt GA of all people would agree to this. But I am never going to get this image out of my hear of Robin-

"Let me guess you kept the remains as a trophy," Flash encouraged. At this point my jaw is no longer attached to my skull.

"More like I let Lois cook it. And that's not a metaphor, its literal." How... Who would eat it? Why am I thinking about that of all things?!

"To leave a traumatizing taste in his mouth," GA said. "When I was about to break up with one girl, she burnt my cereal and had me eat it to 'Taste the Relationship.'"

"How do you burn cereal?" BC asked GA.

"Well at least she let me eat the sausage," Robin injected. "You should have seen Superman's face as I ate it in front of him, while he seemed like he was about to puke." HE DID IT. THE PSYCHO DID IT! Even Kaldur, Robin sole defender among us earlier, couldn't move his face.

"Do you have any of it left?" WHAT THE $#!% IS WITH THE LEAGUE BACKING ROBIN ON THIS?! HOW CAN THIS BE A QUESTION?!

"Nah I gave Wally the last of it," Robin reminds me of the food he gave Wally yesterday. The three of us turn to look at the trembling Wally who stared off into the distance, about to collapse at any-

"[THUMP]"

* * *

 **That was... I honestly don't know how I came up with this story.**

 **Please comment!**


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